The New Principal

13. The Talk.

*Thomas texts will be in italics. Joel texts will be in bold.*

     I've managed to avoid Joel for a week, having called into work stating I have the flu. Steph came to check on me and I told her what happened and she agreed with me, I was right in what I did. She also told me that I need to come back to work and show Joel what he messed up. So this morning, I shower and dress knowing I'll have to see Joel.
     He's called and texted every day, even came by the house multiple times, but I ignore him. I know I won't be able to at school. I head to my classroom and find a note from Joel, asking to see me when I get in.
     I go to his office and his secretary lets me in, closing the door behind her as she leaves. "Yes Mr. Stafford, what do you need?" Joel frowns at me, looking me over. "You look thinner than normal." I can't do this.
     "If there's nothing you need to talk to me about in relation to work, sir, then I'll be returning to my class room." He sighs, his hand trailing down his face. "Thomas, can I come talk to you tonight? Please?" I figure maybe this is the closure we both need, so I agree. I leave his office and struggle to get through the day.
•••
I'm halfway to drunk when Joel shows up, a bag of food in his hands. I say nothing but move out of the way, allowing him to come inside. I sit, on the chair across from him, not moving towards the food. "Would you like any? It's Thai, your favorite," he says, looking at me sadly. I just shake my head with a no.
I stare at him, almost telling him just to leave. But he finally looks ready to talk. So I listen. "Eric and I met our junior year of high school. We were the firsts for each other, testers really of what we liked and didn't like. We dated for years until I realized that I didn't love him, I loved the idea of him and the experiences he gave me." I nod.
"My mom calls him my fiancé because we talked about it once to her, saying we'd have a big wedding at the house. It was more of a hypothetical thing to us. To her, it became real. We just never corrected her because we didn't think anything of it." That makes sense to me. "Okay, I get that."
"Eric and I ended my junior year of college. It was the easiest decision, for both of us. I think he knew I didn't feel the way he did and he didn't want to hold me back. He loved me enough to let me be happy, he said. I've seen him a few times since then. We attended each other's graduations. We cared about each other still.
When I saw him at the opening, I almost panicked, thinking he was going to start trouble. But he didn't. I know he hasn't been with anyone else and I didn't want to rub in his face that I was with someone else. When he called me he said he wanted to talk, wanted to say his peace so he could move on. I thought I owed him that. I lied because I didn't want to upset you." I scoff at him.
"I understand that I did hurt you but I'm sorry. I love you and would never want to hurt you." I feel my eyes go wide and his do too, surprised he let it slip. He moves to the ground in front of me. He kisses me and I let him, even though I shouldn't.
"Fuck me, Joel, please." I say, moving down to join him on the floor. He quickly removes our clothes and finds my hole, pushing into me gently. "Fuck baby, you feel so good," he moans, leaning to kiss my mouth. I turn my head and he catches my cheek instead.
I moan and grab for him, pulling him harder into me. I move my hips, meeting his thrusts, but don't speak words to him. I know this is me saying goodbye.
Soon I come, shooting myself onto his stomach, and I feel him come in my ass, throbbing inside of me. He pulls out and moves to kiss me again but I don't let him, pulling away from him to pull up my pants.
"What's going on, Thomas?" He tries to look in my eyes, but I don't let him. "Can you lock the door on the way out?" I feel him tense. "Excuse me?" He asks, anger obvious in his voice. "You heard me." I stand and move to the kitchen.
"You're telling me to leave? What was all this then?" I turn and see his face, wishing I hadn't. He's upset, but so am I. "It was goodbye, Joel. Please. Just lock the door." He moves toward me but I hold a hand out to stop him. "Please, Joel. Don't make this harder."
He frowns but nods, moving to dress himself. He stops at the door and looks to me. "I love you, I'm sorry," he says then leaves, locking the door as I asked. I sit in my kitchen and all I can do is cry.