PAUSE THE BEAT

chapter 4

The story continues to unfold revealing each day a sea of the yet-to-be known future past. Sometimes it's quite calm waveless ocean, and other times it's just a menacing beast threatening to annihilate every bit of my life.
Not a week has passed since I got out of the hospital, when things started to get foggy again. It all began when I received a phone call from Austin asking me to go out with him to a nearby park. I dressed up in a regular skinny jeans and a tank top and sat waiting for him to arrive.
"Why are you dressed up honey? Going somewhere?"
"Yeah mom, I'm going with Austin to the Lake Park. The one we used to go to when I was small."
"Ohh... with Austin..."
"Umm yeah, why? Do you need me today to help you with the house chores or something? I can call him and apologize if-"
"No, nevermind he's... he's just... a really nice guy, you know."
"Erm, yes, I think so."
That' when our little conversation came to an end because the doorbell rang indicating that Austin has arrived.
We did not use the car, instead, we just walked. At the beginning, there was an awkward silence in the air, neither of us dared to utter a word, so I was about to jump when I heard him saying, "you look nice today."
"Thanks."
"You know, we used to be so comfortable around each other," he chuckled a bit then added, " but I feel like our relationship has started all over again now."
I couldn't say anything to that, I can't remember our relationship in the first place. And as if reading my mind he said with so much determination, "I know you can't remember a thing about me, but I'll help you get your
memory back, I swear."
"I... yes, I'll try my best too."

Soon, we arrived at the park and took a seat beside the lake. So many memories came flooding into my head, memories of my family and friends.
"I used to come here a lot when I was a kid. I have fond memories of this place as a child and a teen."
"Yeah, that's why I chose to bring you here today."
"Have I told you that before?"
"Umm, yes you did. But nevermind you need to remember. Anyways, wanna have an ice cream cone?" And without waiting for me to answer, he stood up and went to get us some ice creams.
This is a place of many incidents, some of which has been wiped away by the haze of time, and others still as clear as if they happened last night. I got up and walked to the thickest tree of all, the one in the middle
of the park. I recall that I, once, carved a date on the tree trunk. A very special date to me. The day of my suicide. 'It should be somewhere here,' I thought, 'ohh, here it is. But... what's this?'
I was amazed to see some weird carvings under the date. It was as if somebody has been counting the days in an old fashioned way: four vertical lines resembling four consecutive days, and a fifth line drawn horizontally crossing the other four. Who would carve such a thing into this tree? Well, it had been almost five years since I was here last time, and anybody could have done it, but I have a weird feeling about it.
Staring at the drawings on the trunk, I noticed a small letter, barely noticed, below them: J. I didn't want to jump into conclusions, but my name is Jasmine and the letter could be my initial. What does that mean? I wish I can remember something. Anything.
"What are you looking at?" A voice whispered behind my ear. The hair stood on the back of my neck, and I was alarmed like never before, as if I was caught stealing.
"N-nothing. I was just l-looking at this tree and I think I should carve somthing to its trunk."
"Yeah, I once thought about carving our names here, but I didn't."
"Ohh." So it's not him. This getting more complicated. Should I ask him about it? Although I trust this guy, I feel something weird about him.
"Here." He handed me the ice cream cone which I took eagerly.
"Thank you."
"Anytime." He said while grinning.

We spent the afternoon in the park, chatting and trying to remmeber things of the past. I was comfortable around him, but not in the way I'd be with my boyfriend. There was something about
him that I couldn't put to words, something... odd.