The Weight of Silence

Chapter 16

As soon as the window shut behind Sayjan, the weight of everything crashed down on me. I stayed still, staring at the empty space he'd left behind, my chest tightening as the silence in the room grew unbearable. I could feel the tears coming before I could stop them, hot and uncontrollable, streaming down my face. I buried my head in my hands, trying to stifle the sobs that shook my whole body.

I hated this. I hated how things had gone, how I hadn't been able to explain myself, how I'd let him leave thinking... what? That I didn't care? That I didn't trust him? The thought made the tears come harder, and I clutched my arms around myself, trying to hold everything together, but it was useless.

A soft knock on the door startled me. I quickly wiped at my face, trying to erase any evidence of my tears, and took a shaky breath.

"Come in," I said, my voice barely steady.

The door creaked open, and Malik's small frame peeked around the corner. He looked hesitant, his big eyes scanning the room before he stepped inside. He closed the door quietly behind him and walked over to me, climbing onto the bed without saying a word. He sat beside me, his legs dangling off the edge, and I tried to smile at him, but it felt weak.

"You've been crying," he said softly, his voice filled with the kind of certainty only a child could have.

I sighed, brushing a hand through my hair as I searched for an answer that wouldn't worry him.

"I'm just tired," I said finally, my voice quiet. "It's a lot of schoolwork."

He didn't say anything for a moment, just looked at me with those wide, knowing eyes. Then, without a word, he climbed onto my lap and wrapped his small arms around me, pressing his face against my chest.

The hug caught me off guard, but I let out a shaky breath and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. His warmth was comforting in a way I hadn't expected, and for a moment, the ache in my chest eased just a little.

We sat like that for a while, the room quiet except for the faint sound of the rain outside. I felt my breathing slow, my tears drying as I focused on the steady weight of Malik in my arms. He didn't say anything, just held onto me like he knew I needed it, and I couldn't help but be grateful for him in that moment.

After a while, he spoke, his voice muffled against my shirt.

"Did Dad used to help you with schoolwork?"

The question caught me off guard, and for the first time that night, I felt a small smile tug at my lips. I let out a soft chuckle, brushing a hand over his hair.

"Yeah," I said, my voice a little lighter. "He loved helping us. He'd sit with me for hours sometimes, going over math problems or helping me with my essays."

Malik pulled back slightly, looking up at me with curious eyes.

"Did he get mad if you didn't understand?"

I shook my head, my smile growing.

"Never. He was really patient. He'd explain things as many times as I needed until I got it. He always made me feel like I could figure it out."

Malik nodded, his expression thoughtful, and then he rested his head back against my chest.

"I wish I remembered him more," he said quietly.

My heart ached at his words, but I held him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"I know," I said softly. "But you have me, and I'll tell you all the stories you want. I promise."

Malik shifted slightly in my lap, looking up at me again. His small hands fidgeted with the edge of my sleeve as he spoke.

"Everyone is downstairs," he said, his voice quiet but curious. "They're talking to Armin on the phone."

I blinked, caught off guard.

"Armin?" I repeated, my voice softening at the mention of my older brother.

Malik nodded, his expression thoughtful.

"Yeah, he called a little while ago. They've been talking to him for a bit."

Hearing Armin's name brought a bittersweet warmth to my chest. He'd been away for months now, and I missed him more than I let myself admit most days. The thought of hearing his voice made me want to run downstairs immediately, but I hesitated, glancing down at Malik. His presence was grounding, and I wasn't quite ready to let go of this moment.

"Did you talk to him too?" I asked, brushing a strand of hair from his face.

Malik shook his head.

"No, I wanted to wait. He always asks about you first anyway."

His words made me smile, even as a pang of guilt settled in my chest. I hadn't spoken to Armin in a while, and the idea of facing him now, after everything that had just happened with Sayjan, felt overwhelming. But Malik's expectant gaze was impossible to ignore.

"Alright," I said softly, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Let's go downstairs and say hi, then."

Malik nodded, climbing off my lap and grabbing my hand. He didn't let go as we walked to the door, his small fingers wrapped tightly around mine. His quiet support gave me just enough strength to push through the heaviness in my chest and follow him down the stairs.