All it took was Two.

0

I don't know what to do. There's no one to talk to, I'm too scared. I try to forget it all but it's stuck in my head. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this..

1 cut

It stings a little bit.. I never thought I would be a self harmer. But I understand what everyone else was saying now. It makes me feel a bit better.

4 cuts

They are all tiny, shallow cuts. No one can notice this kind of scratch. Can I get away with doing more?

11 cuts

They barely hurt. They aren't helping me much now. Not ENOUGH. I want it to HURT.

24 cuts

They burn so much. My first ones have faded, but my last ones are getting deeper. I'm scared someone's going to notice.

30 cuts

Red horizontal lines, parallel to each other. Some on my arm, some on my ankle. I hate the fact that I am still thinking about what he did, why did he- NO NO NO I won't think about it!

37 cuts

Why is there a knife in my hand?Oh my god, look at me! It looks awful.. WHAT THE HELL, I'm fat and ugly anyway, I don't care anymore if I make myself look worse. No one gives a sh!t, including me. Right?

49 cuts

The problems are never ending. I can't cope. I can't, can't, can't.

73 cuts

My whole body burns. The blood is all around me in the bath. I can't call for help, no one can know! Oh god, I can feel myself slipping away.

97 cuts

97. 97. 97. Yet I still have problems, the world still spins on, throwing crap at me. How can I make it stop? How can I believe my friends when they say it's going to get better? It's not going to get better, my arms, legs, stomach, back. They look like patchwork.

STOP.

Scars.

Now they are just scars.

Everyone around me thinks that I'm long past the problems now. That I'm fine. That I don't think about it anymore.

But all I feel is trapped.

I don't want to do it because I don't want to upset other people. But it means that I am upset. That my sadness grows every day.

Scars.

I look at them and now I know what to do.

Two.

One gaping wide slash across each of my wrists.

The smell of my blood is choking me, yet on the inside I am calm.

Calm as a butterfly.

My problems washed away.

I feel the darkness start to cover me and as my eyes start to drift shut I think,

"All it took was two."