A Letter to My Younger Self

Hello, old friend,

It's me! You from the future! I know you'll never get the chance to read this (unless time travel finally gets invented so I can print this out and give it to you whilst managing to not impact the space-time continuum), but I think it's time I let you know what's been going on since you were present me. I bet you're wondering how everything turned out. Well guess what? It's not at all what you expected it to be. It is so much more.

I know you were in a really dark place back then. I remember how alone you felt, not having any idea why they were so mean to you. To this day, I still cannot understand why they did what they did. The pressure was intense. It felt like no one on the planet could understand what you felt, and everyone seemed to be against you. You were so close to just ending it all right there.

But you didn't.

You stuck it out and you didn't know it yet, but you were becoming stronger every day. You finally left that horrible place and ventured onto someplace new. You were finally free.

Waldorf was the best thing that ever happened to you. You finally became who you are and you weren't afraid to show it anymore. You were transforming into this beautiful, smart, creative butterfly after being trapped in a dark, suffocating cocoon.

Slowly, your outlook on life began to change. You were more positive and more optimistic. You began to see yourself as the beautiful person you were (and still are). Of course sometimes you needed some reassurance, as most do, but you truly started to take full control of your life.

Your first year at Waldorf started to fly by quickly. By the ending of that year, you were completely metamorphosed into a better, stronger person. You felt that there was no longer a heavy burden threatening to break your fragile shoulders. You could feel your heart soaring and your spirit lifting. Everything was finally how it was meant to be.

Then high school happened.

High school. The best four years ever.

Ninth grade was the year you finally realized that you don't care about what anyone else thinks; What really matters is surrounding yourself with people who are genuine. You stopped caring about what everyone else was getting into. You realized you weren't part of the "everyone else" crowd, and you marched to the beat of your own drum.

Of course, haters will always exist and try to mess up your life. "Haters gonna hate", as they say. They don't matter either, but you knew that already. Luckily, there weren't too many of them standing in the way of your success.

Fast forward to twelfth grade. It goes without saying that graduation is one of the happiest and saddest rites of passage that every person must experience. This is the year that relationships become concrete, or fall apart completely. You find out who everyone truly is, and you suddenly realize you're going to miss them, even if you hated their guts.

When the year began, you could hardly believe you had come this far. I know you never thought you'd make it here, but you did. It's funny how you can go through years of school thinking "Twelfth grade is lightyears away! I'll never graduate, I'll just keep going to school forever!"; Then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

As anyone would expect, twelfth grade too flew by so quickly, it was as if it never happened. By the end of the year, you found out that all the people who openly mocked and criticized you had been secretly wishing they had your courage and perseverance. Some even said they wanted to be more like you because you were never afraid to be who you are, and you never got caught up in social norms. Little did they know that it had taken you so long to get you to where you are now.

Now, everything is going so amazingly. You've graduated high school, something you wouldn't have seen yourself doing 7 years ago. You're going to a great art college in CALIFORNIA. A couple of years ago it was just a distant thought, but now, it's really happening! Your brother has a son! He's the cutest little nephew anyone's ever seen! You love him to pieces <3. Your sister is engaged to a wonderful man who loves her more than anything in this world. I know you always wanted that for her. Mom and Pop, well... They'll always be Mom and Pop, but don't worry, you're getting out of the house soon. Hang in there. You've got amazing, creative friends and best friends who are beautiful in every way. Your love of art has blossomed and soon everyone will know of your talent. You even have a really great guy in your life who is quite possibly the man of your dreams. It took a little bit of time, but it was definitely worth the wait, trust me.

And so I will leave you with a few words of advice and some things you must always remember:

1.) Always believe in yourself no matter what anyone else says.

2.) Stay true to yourself. Don't let others change who you are.

3.) You have a beautiful voice. SING! I know you are pretty shy about it but you just have to DO IT! Share your gift with the world!

4.) Don't be afraid to be yourself. It's okay to be awkward and weird sometimes. Some people like that. And don't worry, no matter what you do, there'll always be someone out there who is weirder and more awkward than you. You're not the only oddball!

5.) Be open to love, no matter where it comes from. I know you've had this ideal guy stuck inside the back of your mind for ages now, but I think it's time to let go of him. You're finally realizing why it never worked out with any of your crushes, and you're a better person because of that. God has finally brought you in contact with a guy who may very well be your soulmate. Don't take this opportunity for granted. Cherish it, because there are rarely any guys as special as this one.

6.) You're smarter than you think. People have always tried to undermine your intelligence by forcing you into a stereotypical box. But guess what? You are so much more than that. You have a great amount of potential and it is important that you make the most of it.

7.) You are wise beyond your years. And that's a good thing. You have the ability to tell people exactly what they need to hear. Your advice is truly appreciated by the ones you give it to.

8.) Let music always be a part of your life. It fuels your soul and gives you the strength to carry on when hope seems lost. You have a powerful connection to music that can never be broken. You will always find your way back to your musical roots.

9.) Stop worrying! Take everything one day at a time. It is all going to work out. God has an amazing plan for you. You just have to be willing to receive it.

10.) You have a real talent for helping people. Don't ever stop doing it no matter what. Always lend a helping hand when you see someone in need of it.

11.) Always, always ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Go with your gut. It's usually right. (You can usually read people as well, so if you think they're not good then chances are you're right about that too)

12. ) Always stand your guard. Not everyone is going to be a nice and caring as you are, and they just might try to take advantage of that. DO NOT LET THEM.

And lastly, love yourself. Don't ever think that you are anything less than a beautiful, smart, talented, caring, trustworthy, loyal, intellectual, complex individual who is completely worthy of everything positive in the world and beyond it. You deserve to live. You were put on this planet for a reason. Don't give up hope on finding out what it is. In fact, just don't give up in general. Keep on truckin' baby girl, you're doing just fine.

I love you so much.

I wish you could read this, but like I said, you are only my past self and not my future one. That's okay, though, because you'll always be a part of me that I will never forget.

All my love,

Amanda