You Kill Me.

Crazy Girl.

"You ready to g-Devan! You haven't even gotten up!" I groaned and rolled over in the bed, burying my face in his pillow.

For the past week, I had done nothing but lay in bed all day and Jaime had decided that it was time for me to get out and get moving away. 'That's what Carter would have wanted', he says.

"Can't I just sleep?" I mumbled. I heard him walking over to the bed and then the bed dipped from his weight. I inwardly sighed, knowing what was coming next.

"No. You've done nothing but sleep for the past week. It's not good for you. It's time for you to get up and get going again. I understand that you're sad but you have to keep going." Anger bubbled up inside me and I sat up, staring at him coldly.

"No, you don't understand. Your three best friends are alive and well, probably downstairs! Mine is dead! She's dead and it's all my fault! There is no way you could possibly understand that!" I yelled. He didn't even flinch. He just stared back at me, calmly. That made me even more angry.

"You're right, I haven't had to deal with anything like this before, but you can't just sleep your life away. Carter would have wanted-" I threw a pillow at him and then laid back down, covering my head with the blanket.

"You don't know what Carter would have wanted. Just get out, Jaime. Leave me alone." This finally got a reaction out of him, but not one that I wanted.

"Fine, Devan! Jesus! I just wanted to help, okay? I'm just trying to be there for you! But fine; you want me to leave? I'll leave!" He slammed my bedroom door on the way out and then a few seconds later I heard the front door open and slam. I uncovered my head and sat up, staring at my door in shock for a second before bursting into tears. I didn't mean to make him so mad. I could not lose him. After all of this, I couldn't lose Jaime too.

I climbed out of bed and scrambled to get my phone, dialing his number and nervously pressing the speaker to my ear. The call went straight to voicemail. I called again and again. I even called the other guys. None of them picked up either. I assumed that Jaime had told them to ignore it if I called. I dropped my phone and sat down, leaning against the wall and holding my head in my hands. I ran my fingers through my hair, sobbing. For a minute, I thought about cutting. I knew that Carter used to do it, so maybe it helped. But then I thought about what would happen if Jaime came back and found out.

So instead of physically harming myself, I got in the shower and sobbed for two hours straight. When I got in, the water was blisteringly hot. When I got out, it was ice cold. I didn't take much notice to the temperature change, I was just so upset. I dressed in sweatpants and my baggiest sweatshirt, which happened to be Jaime's. Then I found myself praying, which I hardly ever do, that he would come back and forgive me.

When I was done praying, I heard the front door open. My heart skipped a beat, hoping that it was Jaime, but then I heard Her voice.

"Devan! Get your ass down here and clean up this goddamn living room!" I was sure that the living room was spotless but when mom was drunk she just liked to yell. I got up and walked downstairs, meeting her in the foyer. She was leaning against the wall, struggling to get her boot off. She kept almost getting it and then letting go because she would almost fall, and then she had to start the process over.

"Need some help?" I asked, crossing my arms and leaning on the wall across from her. She squinted at me, having trouble actually seeing me.

"No, I don't need your help." She replied curtly, grunting before finally pulling off her first boot. One down, one to go. This could take a while. I pushed off of the wall and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the ice cream and heading back upstairs. I ignored her shouts and cursing, knowing that she would go into her room and pass out soon. I locked myself in my room and listened Jaime's song, I'm The Secret, on repeat. I ate the entire tub of ice cream because I felt sorry for myself and then I fell asleep alone. The bed felt extremely cold without his body heat and strong arms wrapped around me.

-

I was lost in a deep sleep, thankfully dream-free. It seemed like I had just fallen asleep when I was woken up by an extremely cold hand touching my face. I jolted awake, my eyes flying open.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He whispered, leaning down and kissing my cheek. Tears flooded my eyes and then started pouring down my face as I hugged him, desperately pulling him as close as I could.

"Don't do that to me. Don't ever do that to me again." I sobbed. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I got so upset. I didn't go far though. I just walked around for a while, clearing my head."

"Why didn't you answer your phone? I called the guys too, and they didn't answer either." I asked, pulling back and wiping my face. He helped, gently brushing the tears away with his thumb.

"I turned it off because I needed to cool down. And the guys are at a club, they probably didn't hear their phones ringing." I let out a shaky breath.

"I was so scared that you had left me." I whispered, looking anywhere but at his face. He leaned down, kissing my cheek.

"You know that I could never leave you. We're going to fight, Devan. Every couple does. But I will never leave you. I love you more than anything." He whispered in my ear, moving to kiss me on the lips. I kissed him back, calming down. I still had the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that said that something bad was going to happen, but I tried my best to ignore it. I just wanted to be calm and have one night where I could just sleep, without worrying about too much. This was nearly impossible, but Jaime stayed up with me and talked for a long time until I fell asleep again, dreaming of our future together instead of having nightmares about Carter.

A/N: Kind of on a writing spree today, so I'll probably update again. This chapter is kind of not long but I felt like that was a good place to end it. Comments are very much appreciated.