Have you ever felt dazed, not knowing where life is leading you to? Well , I had one such experience today. I had an off and was feeling a bit puzzled, I was pondering, what next? So I decided to take a walk, quite unusual for my current sedentary lifestyle, I plugged on my earphones, started listening to some deep instrumentals and then set out from my flat. As if the term irony was coined just for me, it started raining cats and dogs out of the blue. Mumbai rains are always unpredictable, and not trusting the nature Gods, we are generally advised to carry an umbrella, which fortunately I did carry with. Determined to walk until I felt better, I continued on my course, not following any specific path.
After about five minutes, the rain had stopped and the sun shone. The climate was not the only thing that changed. I found an analogy in the sudden change of events. The smell of mud after rains (technically termed as petrichor) had an impact on my moods as I continued with my walk. I kept gazing at the happenings on the roadside. As if unforeseen, I went blank. I thought it was bliss. But I was not sure. I kept walking. After a while, I realized that the sensation I experienced earlier was a dejavu. I was drawn back to some of my school memories.
I would fall sick at a rate of maybe rarely once or twice a year. So I would take an off accordingly. Say one to two days a year. Have you heard about Murphy's laws? They're synonymous with irony. Yes, I'm talking about the law of queues, the law of wrong keys being typed and the like. Well, even as I am typing, I am reminded of that.
Exactly on the day i would take an off, the school would conduct sports selection events. Ones who are selected in the preliminary rounds were only eligible for participating in the main events, due to certain obvious constraints. Apparently, I would miss these events and so, I would have to wait for the next year. Apart from the selections, we would have a fitness test each year where all my classmates would have a test run in groups. the PE Staff would record the results. Fortunately, this test run helped me in finding my sprinting skills, for I would usually breast the tape first at these events. It is understood that the best runner of my class may or may not have been grouped together with me, and yet, it always felt good to be adjudged the fastest. So this continued for years together (Murphy's law found its best application in me) and because I was an extreme introvert, I did not let the PE teachers or house masters know that I was interested in participating for the sprinting events. Neither did I attend any of the sports day functions at school.
Years passed by and once I reached my eleventh grade, i had a new found happiness in wanting to try my hand out at most of the extra-curricular events. For I had already been familiar with singing, drawing and a few other curricula, thanks to my parents. Maybe it was a silent transformation, or rather the teenage rebel in me had thought I had had enough keeping me to myself. I started staying back after school, played games with my friends, as I wanted to do something apart from studying. One such day, I found some people rehearsing for a sprint event. Without notice, I joined them and came first, This made me rethink about my abstinence from participating in such events.
I took part in most of the competitions(non-sport related) thereafter and also kept in constant touch with my housemaster and captain. I let them know about my interests. It was an unexpected delight to me when they nominated me without prior selection. My captain had not seen me run before, but he accepted my nomination. This was huge for me. It was like a VIP pass entry for a normal person. Maybe he had got a feedback from someone that made him do so, but for me, it was something abnormal. I felt that, for the first time in my life, I had got something without having to prove of. The guilt that I could have snatched somebody's opportunity was overshadowed by my self-confidence. The whole school would talk about how Sabari, one of the competitors was invincible. Likewise, he had heard about me i guess. One evening, he wanted to try a race with me. I was pleased, that a professional had heard about me and he wanted to test me. Obviously, he won. I bleated with ego, "I'm tired since I've been practising since a long time." He opened his sock to show me a fresh, unhealed wound. He had completely shattered my ego. I found it analogous to an ancient war scenario, relatable to the statement: "There's a lot of honor involved in a contest/fight."
It was Sports day: Too crowded, which meant introverts like me would feel awkward. My first professional race event was all set to begin. In fact, that was the first event for the day, as it was for the super-seniors category, and hence, it was considered the supreme event. This is how it worked: 8 contestants, 4 houses meant 2 from each house would participate in the event. The other person from my team was Aravindh. A good friend of mine. Others included Sabari, whom I'd mentioned before. He stood there, menacing in look, in prime form. The only other person I recognized was Sudheesh (From another team) who had had a removable bandage on him. Meaning he was not fully fit. Once again, I was reminded of honor among contestants and I felt proud to be a part of such an event. We were relaxing our muscles and getting ready for the start. The crowd cheered boisterously. The first time nervousness had gripped me hard.
The whistle blew and the race started. I misheard the whistle and had a foul start (reason I think was the first time nervousness.) I completed second in the race. The foul was not called for. I felt something was not right. The chief guest was invited to award the medals and certificates. I sheepishly stood at the podium, photos were taken. I became worried by each passing minute. After the chief guest left, we were recalled to race again. I guess only I knew why. I was relieved. It was a rematch. Sabari's housemaster says, "No matter what, you will be the winner." I smiled at him. This time, guilt overpowered my confidence. I gave a delayed start, again mistiming the whistle. More than half way across the start, I found that just two people were behind me. I guess I did not understand the gravity of the situation I was in. I went blank, not even accelerating. I had a smile on my face, I guess I was about to faint. I recall the incident where I said I experienced a dejavu. This was the moment. While I was running, I had had a mixture of joy and pleasure running through my body and mind. I think I would call it bliss. My nervousness had transformed into happiness (Just for the fact that I had participated in such a competition.) At first I saw it as my inexperience and then had given up, (almost stopped running.) And then, I looked at my teammate, Aravindh, who was ahead of me right now, looking back at me and shouting: "I'm giving my best, Bala! Where's yours? Push harder!!!" (Atleast that's what he meant, in the middle of the race) Something strange happened, I had a new found responsibility to savour my team's pride, and to make up for my foul start earlier. I transcended from one blissful state to another, as I raced past one contestant to other. I finished third. But this time, I was contented. It is alright to fail, as long as you have fought well! Needless to say Sabari won again.
Life lessons learnt that day:
Your opponent has equal strengths and weaknesses or rather problems as you, neither underestimate, nor overestimate him!
Fight with honor when you contest!
When you are under-performing, just a gentle push from a good friend or for that matter anybody is all you need, to do the impossible!
It is okay to lose, as long as you have given your best!
Never to forget this experience in my life!
Maybe this story is a confession to someone, a token of gratitude to someone, a note of self-confidence for many, a way of honoring my friends involved in this story.
I do not find a reason to justify why I did not participate in any such race events thereof. Maybe I had attained what I had wanted to, just from one day, or rather I was just lazy to not try again. But I realize that: Whenever I had felt down, or left out, I remember that voice that said: "Keep it going, Bala!" which indeed keeps me going.
I read somewhere that: To identify if someone would be one of the best writers, show their work to a random person and the person should feel, "Man, If I wrote a story someday, this is how it should be!" I guess I'm progressing in miniscule steps towards that...
DISCLAIMER: All events mentioned in this story are facts, all emotions displayed are genuine. If the people mentioned here are offended, the names will be removed on their request, as a matter of fact, I wish they won't be offended, for this is a dedication to them! Maybe they don't even remember these events :)
As for the title: Bolt meant Usain Bolt, and it really is a bolt from the blue for the people involved in it: a sudden recalling of a race that took place in 2008 I guess
