My Other Whole

START HERE (ePiLoGue-ish)

"Utak lang ang gumagana.

Walang alam.

Fragile.

Weak.

Useless."

I crumpled the paper kung saan ko sinulat ang mga words na yun, I was crying so hard and I was about to jump from this amazing London bridge.

Ang weird nga lang ng ayos ko kasi hawak-hawak ko ang aking Hello kitty stuff toy na super favorite ko at ni author, ng biglang may narinig ako.

Nilingon ko kung saan galing ang tunog.

I saw a boy throwing his bike at the side of the bridge and his running towards me. He LOOKs weird. Mas malala pa ata sa iniiyakan ko.

Eehh.. Joke lang.

"What d'ya think your doing?!"-sabi nung lalaki.

"S-sw-wimming, you idiot!", i bluff those words but still i was crying. Angry.

"You're the idiot. It's so obvious that your off to jump and- ...and. Kill yourself!"

"You're the IDIOT. Alam mo naman pala ee *sob* nagtanong ka pa. Pwede ba pabayaan mo nalang ako. *sob*Useless lang pag aatend ng *sob* graduation ko kung wala siya. The hell, I know hindi talaga sya pupunta cuz he thinks, I'm, I'm,----",  hindi ko tagala napigilan at humagulhol na ako ng iyak. I broke down. I kneel and I  put my hands over my face.

Nahihiya ako sa taong nasa harap ko. He's a complete stranger. Sinigawan ko pa siya though alam kung wala naman syang maiintindihan kahit isang word dahil tinagalog ko.

 Siguro idiot nga ako.

 Hell. Utak nga LANG ang gumagana sakin diba??? Idiot parin yung diba? Aish.

 Ang sakit, double killed ako ngayung oras na 'to.

Na feel ko na papalapit sakin yung stranger. I heard his footsteps towards me.

 He removed my hands from my face at inilapit nya yung crumpled paper sa face ko which is now opened and wrinkled..

 I cried again but I can't cover my face this time dahil hawak nya ito.

 And.

 And.

 ASDFGHJK.

.

.

What's with him?

..

 He's HUGGING me right now.!!!!!!!!!

 That kind of my-face-on-his,chest. But, I'm too weak (ayun na naman yung word na weak. An sakit). Hindi na ako lumaban and I sob and sob on his chest.

"It's so obvious you wanna end your life. I know, sorry. I'm an idiot for asking you. So maybe I could assume were the same right?!", he chuckled after saying that. He's still holding me.

Umiiyak parin ako..
"No we're not *sob* the same. I can't accept being told as an *sob* idiot. I did everything to *sob* be first in everything, to make him*sob* proud, but".. hindi na ako makapagsalita ng maayos because of my cry.

"Being first in everything doesn't mean you aren't idiot at all. Let's just say I'm also first in everything, though I'm totally not,I'm not even intelligent actually , yet I asked you what you were doing there a while a ago where in it was actually so obvious you , were,*he paused* you know. I was an idiot in some ways. And maybe you are too." Umiyak na naman ako. Kung makapagsalita to. Hindi na gumagana utak ko eh. Nadadala na ako ng sakit na nararamdaman ko.