The thoughts ripping through my mind bring me to my knees. I cover my ears from the screams and voices but they wont leave me for they are in my head. Tears burn their way down my cheeks like acid. I try closing my eyes to avoid seeing the images my messed up brain creates but when I close my eyes the images are worse, more violent and terrifying.
The thing that is so terrifying about these images though, is that I enjoy them. The macabre visions of people, innocent people, covered in blood and dying slowly, brings out the insanity in me.
I can feel things crawling over my body, stabbing me with their needle-like feet, I scratch at my skin but it doesnt help. I swipe at little creatures and hit nothing.
If I werent already, Id say this was driving me crazy.
The only way to stop, or atleast ease the intensity of these hallucinations is to self-harm, cause myself pain, get rid of the bad blood.
Eventually I decide that Ive put up with this enough, I deserve a release. So I go to my hidden supply of razor blades and other things I use to marr my pale skin and silence my insanity. I pick out my most favoured blade, a pointed, curved razor. The blade is slightly rusted with blood and antiseptic but I still love it, it has always been the answer to my problems.
Laying a black towel on my lap, I begin to scratch at my skin with the razor blade, getting myself used to the pain.
Eventually the pain stops shocking me as much so I begin to slash at my already scarred skin.
Blood pours from the gaping wounds in my arm and trickles onto the towel, going straight through it and most likely staining my pyjamas.
Finally, after what seems like hours of tearing through my arm the tension in my head finally eases and the hallucinations begin to fade. So I stop and lean back against the wall.
Soon I clean up and stitch the really bad cuts up then got to bed, exhausted. My arms burn from the fresh cuts and sting at the slightest touch, it feels great.
