Fresh Starts

Chapter One

I do not own Twilight or the characters (except Crystal), I just make them do what I want them to do. Enjoy!

BPOV

They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. If that's the case, then I would know better then anybody.

I lost Edward because I wasn't good enough. I should have seen it sooner. The Cullen's are beautiful. I'm just plain, standing at about five foot four inches, chocolate brown eyes, and mahogany waist length hair. A plain human that got myself into a world that I never knew existed.

Alice being small and pixie like, with spiky black hair. Energy that could tire even a vampire. Her love of shopping and fashion, which I never liked personally myself. Her loving husband Jasper who never got the credit he deserved. I knew he never wanted to hurt me let alone kill me at my eighteenth birthday party. I forgave him the moment it happened. Him being an empath, I could tell he felt everyone's blood lust when I cut myself, it was probably worse feeling Edward's since my blood called to him. Jasper was a loving soul that would do anything for his Alice, and his southern charm just helped him out a little more.

Rosalie with her bombshell body that could make any model's self-esteem drop ten points just by looking at her. Her beautiful blond hair that went to the middle of her back and legs that went on for miles. Just to add to the fire, she knew more about cars then the people that made them probably. I never got to really know her, she was always a bitch towards me. Edward once said that she was like that because I was choosing my death by hanging out with vampires. I never knew Rosalie's story on why she was changed, I just knew she didn't want it. The only thing that kept her from committing suicide is her child-like husband Emmett. There's a guy that could scare the shit out of you just by looking at him. But once you got to know him, all you could see was a loving teddy bear. He cared greatly for his family and would do anything for them. He was the brother I never knew I wanted, but was glad that I had.

Carlisle with his compassion to help anybody no matter what fate has thrown at him. He wanted to make himself better then he should have been when he was changed. He didn't want to be the monster, but wanted to help people, so choosing a different road that many vampires looked down at him on. Saying it wasn't natural, and he shouldn't be going against nature. But it did and got a great family out of it. Esme, the mother I never had. You could just see the love radiating out of her for her family. She had so much love that when you where around her, you almost forgot about all the hate this cruel world had.

Then there's my love, Edward. His copper colored hair, and golden eyes that could dazzle me speechless. He was everything I needed or wanted. When he left me, my world shattered. I knew I wasn't good enough for him, I was just hoping he never realized it. How wrong I was. Just the sound of his name, makes the whole in my chest blaze into a fire that is nothing compared to when James bit me. This fire proves its point of what I have lost, not like the fire that James caused, proving what I would be gaining.

I try not to think about the family I lost, but I'm scared shitless to forget. To forget the golden eyes I fell in love with throughout the family, the love and care they held for each other. The way their voices sounded like bells, and just being around them made the "real world" cease to exist. It was just my family of vampires and me.

After they left, I became a shell of a person. I had lost so much to even wrap my mind around it. I laid around the house, going to school when I needed to and only spoke when talked to directly. I withdrew from my friends, never in their conversations or even accepting their plans. Eventually they gave up. I figured if I didn't involve myself, I couldn't loose anymore.

I finished out high school at Forks and got accepted to University of Washington in Seattle to Major in Italian Studies. Since I didn't have a lot of stuff, it would all fit into the back of my truck so I would only have to make one trip. Putting the last of my things in my truck, Charlie walked out.