Bad Habit

Chapter Five

❝You'll just keep crashing if you never take your eyes off the rearview mirror. ❞
— Leo Christopher

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05. Colton

BACK WHEN I was little, whenever I used to have trouble falling asleep, I'd creep into my brother's room and he'd always welcome me under the covers, hug me close to his chest and sing quietly to me until I was finally able to doze off.

Julian Grey was my rock. Being seven years older than me, he used to play the role of father more than our own dad did sometimes. Don't get me wrong, there were no hard feelings between any of us - both my brother and I understood perfectly Dad was a busy man, who had to raise us by himself when our mother left us.

I was only one year old when she packed her bags, bid us farewell and fell off the face of the Earth. Me, being that young, didn't suffer through it, nor did I miss my mother, since I had no memory of her. What I missed, though, was the figure of another parent to help getting us by.

Julian took it a lot harder than I did, considering he was nearing the age of nine when she left. He'd cry sometimes, only to be comforted by our father, who didn't take it well, either. One time, he broke down in front of us. Stress would always catch up, but he remained strong and never let us down on anything.

When I turned fifteen, I started to realize Julian was becoming an introvert. Odd, considering he'd always been one to have many friends and seize his days to the most. We started drifting away - his nights consisted in staying in his room, watching God knows what, while mine were spent at my friend's house playing basketball.

One day, though, Julian brought a girl home. Cassidy was her name, he said. Both Dad and I were more than surprised. Julian sounded happy, but something about her had red sirens going off inside my head.

She had dinner with us that night. Cassidy didn't speak much, but she appeared to have Julian in the palm of her hand. Her eyes were cold; her smile, faint. But my brother was in love and that was it. Despite Dad's suspicious looks and my snarky remarks, no one could convince him that she seemed like bad news.

That night, Julian raised his voice at me for the first time. He said I didn't have to be a brat because she was trying to befriend me. Said she'd be in his life for a long time and sooner or later I'd have to accept it. That night, I shed a few tears in the shower. But little did I know that night was the first of many.

Cassidy tried to get on my good side, but I was never fooled. By the time I was seventeen, my hatred for her had only gotten bigger. Thanks to her, Julian was becoming a stranger to the family. Thanks to her, every night there'd be fights and arguments and Julian threatening Dad. Thanks to her, I saw my father become disgusted at the person his older son had become. Thanks to her, I lost the one I'd always looked up to.

Thanks to Cassidy, my brother landed himself in prison.

+++

"So, mate, when are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" my friend, Austin, said, pausing the game of Fifa we had been playing.

Throwing him a confused look, I asked: "what do you mean?"

"C'mon, man, I know you well enough to notice when your mood's down," he said, turning his body so he was sat facing me and not the TV.

It was true, what he said. I'd known Austin since we were nine, when he moved all the way from Leeds, England, to New York. Back then, he was an awkward kid with one of the kindest personalities in the world. We instantly clicked, and it was safe to say Austin was one of the most important people that entered my life. He had no idea, but his concern for me was comforting and reassuring.