Excerpts from the Book I'll Never Write

Chapter One:

High School isn't always how the portray it in the movies. This is particularly true in my high school, where there isn't the jocks that date only cheerleaders, both of which are rude ass bitches and the cheerleaders are sluts. And then the nerd has the most socially awkward yet adorable group of friends that you wish you had, and they suddenly run into the jock at a party or something and the jock falls in love with the nerd. Yeah, like a jock would choose a socially awkward weirdo. He can have any girl in school and he chooses her? Yeah, okay. Oh, and I can't forget the little pop sound track in the background. Yeah, let me tell you what it's really like.

There aren't even really cliques that really stand out.  I mean, yeah people have a group of friends but using the word cliques would abuse the word a little. Not too much bullying, all of its online except me and my best friend Jessa (who's the fucking dumbest Asain you'll ever meet by the way like dumber than London Tipton) being sent down to the principles office because we were making fun of each other and they thought we were bullying each other. And the cheerleaders aren't even really that hot and perfect. They are suddenly getting less sexy. The hot girls are all basically sluts and don't have time for anything else than shoving their tongue down people's throats. And the jocks aren't the hot ones either. Well when I think of jocks I think sporty guys, that are like "Yeah man, sports bro!". The hot guys do play sports but they aren't crazy about it. But the hottest guy of all is Max Vowley. He doesn't even play sports, he's into the arts and everybody loves him. He's friends with everyone, even me. I'm not close to him, but if I had to sit somewhere at lunch he would let me sit with him and it wouldn't be awkward. Well for him at least. For me I'm trying to not imagine him sitting in underwear in my bedroom.

Where was I going with this? Oh, right!

Then there's the nerds. I'm a nerd. I'm not even really smart, I'm more of the person to stay in there room all day and eat food and scroll through Tumblr so I don't really talk to people much. My friends have purple hair, and some are actually stunning. We just aren't the most amusing people in the world. And we get invited to parties all the time! We just stay inside on the couch in our phones while others are doing something else. Oh and that pop sound track? Replace it with pop-punk. Or punk pop whatever you want to call it I honestly could care less all I care about is Pete Wentz and Max. Oh and Tyler Posey but isn't he engaged or something?

And I'm writing down this story on my iPhone notes because why not. This is the future who even reads paper books anyways?

"Audrey! I said get your ass down here!"

"Mom! I said one second!" I screamed back.

"Do you want me to fucking slap you? Get down here and get your spaghetti!" My mom screamed.

I rolled off my bed. Like literally rolled. I fell onto the floor. It hurt. I got up from off the floor and grabbed my phone and ran downstairs.

I walked leisurely into the kitchen as if I didn't fall off my bed. I stopped at the island dead in my tracks and saw something repulsive.

Rancid.

Putrid.

Disgusting.

I saw meatballs.

Okay stop laughing. You do realize that is a dead animal that had its life taken against it's will? It's crazy and I find it sickening. How can people eat meat? It's like Paul McCartney says, "If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian."

I looked at my little brother, devouring his meat ball. He had tomato sauce all around his lips, and he smiled. Yeah, keep smiling kid. You killed those animals and one day they're gonna kill you back.

I walked over and plopped spaghetti onto a plate, then poured the tomato sauce all over my spaghetti.

"You sure you don't want meat balls?" My dad asked.

"No dad." I glared at him.

"You need meat. God put meat on this planet for us to eat." My dad said and I just glared at him.