A Place to Belong - Woosan

{ 26 - San's Choice }

They sat in silence for a few moments, both of them pretending to be more at ease than they were. San could feel the tension in his own shoulders, but he wasn't sure how to break the quiet. He glanced at Wooyoung, who was absently watching a few birds hop across the grass, his jaw tight like he was holding back everything he wanted to say.

Finally, Wooyoung spoke, his voice soft but steady. "I wasn't sure if we'd actually get here, I mean, if we'd have a chance to actually talk. I thought you might just ghost me."

San winced at that, his fingers twisting the fabric of his sleeve. "Yeah If  I were you I'd think that too. I haven't exactly shown you the best sides of me." He sighed deeply.

Wooyoung let out a small breath of a laugh, shaking his head. "Well, points for honesty."

San huffed a quiet laugh, glancing sideways at him. "I guess I'm trying to be better at that. I'm also trying to get better at saying what I mean, even if it's scary."

Wooyoung nodded, but he didn't look convinced. "So... what are we doing here, San?" His voice wasn't sharp, but there was a rawness in it that made San's chest ache. "I think you know I want to be here. I want you. I just need to know if you're really in this with me, or if you're just... here because you feel bad. Or maybe you just like the idea of someone, but don't actually want to have a relationship."

San looked away, swallowing hard. The words felt heavy, like they might get stuck in his throat. "I'm scared," he admitted quietly. "Not of you. Of... everything. Of wanting this so much."

Wooyoung softened slightly but didn't speak, waiting.

San took a breath. "I don't know how to do this. Every time I think about letting you in, it feels like... like maybe it's going to break me if it goes wrong. Like before. I was so hurt, devastated, felt like a shell of myself.  I don't know if I can survive that again." he looked down at the ground "This would be so much worse, because I like you so much more, I feel so connected to you in ways I've never felt before. I guess I keep thinking that if you did hurt me, I don't think I could survive." His eyes welled up, unshed tears making them shimmery.

Wooyoung was quiet for a long moment, and San forced himself to look at him, expecting to see frustration or disappointment.  Wooyoung's expression was only gentle, though his eyes were sad.

"San," Wooyoung said carefully, "I don't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry you were hurt before. I really like you, but I can't promise nothing will ever go wrong. No one can promise that. All I can promise is that I'm here. If you will let me, I'll keep showing up."

San blinked against the sudden water in his eyes. He nodded, clearing his throat. "I want to believe that. I truly do."

Wooyoung gave him a soft smile, reaching out to nudge San's shoulder lightly. "We can start there."

San let out a shaky breath, the tension in his chest easing just a little. "Yeah... okay."

They sat in silence for another minute, but this time it felt different. Not entirely comfortable yet, but less sharp. San glanced at Wooyoung, who was now watching him with that familiar mix of amusement and affection.

"You know," Wooyoung said with a smirk, "if this is the part where you give me a heartfelt speech, I'm going to need snacks."

San laughed, the sound surprising them both, and Wooyoung grinned wider in response.

"I'm working on it," San said, smiling for real now. "Give me time."

Wooyoung bumped their shoulders together. "Take all the time you need."

As the sun dipped lower and the sky turned gold, San felt something in him, in his heart shift. It wasn't fixed. He wasn't suddenly fearless, but for the first time, he could see a vision of happiness absent of fear.