Living in Dead Memories

Chapter 2 (unedited)

Tristan's face was fresh in my mind as I stared up at my ceiling. Could what happened this afternoon actually have been read? Those eyes couldn't have been anybody else's. But Tristan was dead, he couldn't have been the one who saved me. I was so shocked by my rescuer that I didn't even remember the details about my attacker. All I could remember were those eyes, that voice.

I rolled over to grab my phone like I did every night. Tristan should have called me fifteen minutes ago but he was gone. To make up for the fact that I would never hear his voice again I turned to my videos and pressed play. Each video made it seem as if Tristan was alive. He could have simply been laying in his bed looking through pictures of us or even going through the TV shows on Netflix. I watched the screen as memories began to flood into my mind.

"Say hello to the camera!" I shouted at Tristan as I filmed.

"Noooooooooo," Tristan whined in protest as he fought back a smile and shoved his hands over his face.

Tristan has just woken up and his hair was will pointed in all directions. His voice was still full of sleep. A green eye peaked out from between his fingers as he watched me film him with my phone. Even before he was awake Tristan's eyes sparkled with life. When I finally was ready to give up and set my phone down he snatched it away from me and turned to film me.

"Ha! Not so high and mighty now that the camera is on you huh?"

I gave him a look and began to pose for the camera. "What are you talking about, I was made for the screen," I mocked in my best fake actress voice.

"Yeah you were," he mumbled.

"Oh shut up!" I pounced on him and tried to reach for the phone but his arms were much longer than mine. I guess that's what you get for dating a man nearly a foot taller than you. He leaned over and kissed me as he filmed the whole thing. I was furious when I realized it, but watching it now makes me glad he did it.

I set my phone down and used my sleeve to wipe away the tears that ran down my cheeks. It seemed all I ever did anymore was cry. Nothing seemed to make me happy now that Tristan was gone. Rolling over to me side to flip off my lamp is when I saw the movement at my window. Considering how my day had gone I was not in the mood for any more surprises.

In my desk was a stun gun my overprotective father gave to me the night I went to a concert with my best friend. "To protect yourself from all the perverted freaks," he had said. I wrapped my hand around it and threw open my window to see nothing and nobody. I was alone.

How can a girl feel safe after what happened to you this afternoon? I thought to myself. It was all in my imagination. I left the window open a while longer and stared up at the sky. I made myself comfy on the window seat as I tried to clear my mind.

***

I felt a familiar touch as I was lifted up from the window seat. I hadn't realized I feel asleep but now I was too tired to wake up. I grunted a little and opened my eyes only enough to look at the person who held me. Sure enough it was Tristan. There was no way that my dead boyfriend was carrying me to my bed right now, so this was clearly just a dream. I had many dreams about Tristan, but none that felt so realistic.

He gave me a warm smile as he set me down and went to shut the window. I watched as he turned to face me, walking over and sitting beside me. He looked exactly like the man who saved me this afternoon, but there was no way it was him. Tristan was dead.

He leaned over to kiss me and the warmth filled my frozen body. A body that had been cold ever since he passed. Something told me this wasn't a dream, but I couldn't think of any other way to explain it. I simply couldn't be awake right now.

Awake or not I didn't want this to end. I pulled him down to lay by me and cuddled up next to him. I felt as he wrapped his arms around my body, filling it with warmth again. The desperate need for this to be real was so great that tears began to sting my eyes. It wasn't real, and when I woke up it would crush me.