Gone

the one and only chapter

Just to clarify things you just read, this wasn't always my perspective of what life's like.
I actually used to be a really happy girl. I was quite smart, you know that kind of smart where you just get through everything without studying all too much. I was quite popular, means I had a lot friends, but just a few really close ones. And I had a crush on a guy who definitely liked me back. And we're probably goingt to go out on a date, soon. Don't think of me as an arrogant person, because I'm not, I'm realistic. I'd never make up things, so I feel better.

Anyways, me and that guy I liked, Steven, went out on a date and soon we were in a serious relationship. I really like him and I planned to have sex with him, soon. So one day we were at his place, alone, and we did it, we had sex and it was wonderful. I felt like this just deepened the feelings we had for each other. Well not exactly, it deepened my feelings for him, so, unsurprisingly it was even worse when he broke up with me the next day.
I cried a lot, but then slowly I felt better, but a little guilty because I obviously hadn't really loved him, when I get over him that easy. I was just a little sorry for my virginity, but let's be honest, there're way worse things happening around the world.
Just like the next thing that happened.
As sorry as I am to tell you this, but I never really liked my 'dad'. I was always hoping, that he actually my stepfather and that one day my 'real dad' would find me and we'd make fun of my 'dad' together.
Of course that never happened and one day my 'dad' had a really bad day and he was about to abuse my mother, so I tried to stop him. But instead of letting go of my mother and just leave, he attacked me. He didn't only rape me, his daughter, he also hit me all over, as if he wanted to show me, that the next time, I wouldn't even try to protect my mother, so I'd never get over that day.
And of course I didn't. How could I get over my own father abusing me?
But I could get my mother to leave him, after she said about a million times, that he had never done anything. I know that's how abused woman react to the man who abused them, but I really just couldn't understand why.
Anyways I got her to leave him and we moved to Texas, where my older brother was living. He was shocked to hear how our 'dad' abused both of us and was happy to have us at his place for a while.
I started going to school at some wierd school in Texas and mom got a job.
We only stayed at my brothers for a few weeks and soon we had our own palce again, but that wasn't neccessary because a few days later my brother's been shot by some psychopath.
That was a shock.
A real hard shock.
It seemed like my family only had two members left. Me and my mom.
It was horrible.
I tried to stay strong, but one night it all came together and I just couldn't stand it ammore. I cried in my mothers arms the entire night. I was so done with my life.
I had no friends, no father, no brother, no boyfriend. How would I survive this state of my life?
I had absolutely no hope left.
Everything I've ever wanted in life was impossibly far away now. There was no way I could achieve everthing I wanted.
But of course theres always a light at the end of the tunnel.
My mother dated a nice guy who seemed to really care about her and loved her with all he had. And he also had a daughter. At first I felt like I'd betray my dead brother if I liked Monica, but then I started to really like her and we became really close friends.
I also developed a crush on some seriously hot guy and I know it was only a matter of time until we'd go out.
And so, despite all the pain, mentally and physically, I was happy again.
I never gave up, at least not entirely and neither should you.
Try to find your luck amd you will, i promise.