In search of a story.

The cover is an amazing drawing of Jeff that was drawn by http://www.furaffinity.net/user/black-ops-wolf-fox and edited by me. If you want to see the original, go to http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10298920/

And yes it is hand drawn with pencil, which is why I think it's so awesome.

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Yet again, I rename my current story to LOST, as it will never be read, published or known about. I trawl through mind-numbingly massive amounts of data, references, memories, and just plain emails, trying to find more motive. Is there a reason to keep writing? Even if there isn't, I do it anyway.

I thumb through my endless lists of notifications, journals, art, stories, music, anything that could awaken my muse.

Still nothing. Well, it could be worse. I could have urgent homework. But wait, do I? I flick through the pieces of paper on my desk, in my pocket, in my bag, online, just trying to find my schedule of due schoolwork. On my way, I uncover a PowerPoint presentation that was supposed to be handed in a week ago. Oops. I guess I fail that assignment. Ah well. A form that's supposed to be handed in tomorrow. Better give that to my parents. I idly turn on my iPod, and just hit next until I hit a song that captures my attention. Bleh.

I remove my necklace and take a look at it. A circular wooden pendant, with an image of Jeff burnt into it, accompanied by the words "JEFF" and "AJ2013". I fiddle around with the small ring put through the hole in the top of the pendant. Then I move onto the chain that goes through the ring. About 65cm long, and with fairly large links. I slip it back down around my neck.

I vaguely wondered whether people would buy pendants like mine if I sold them as commissions. I tucked that thought away for further consideration and glance at the screen of my iPod.

The song I was listening to was called "This Is Vinyl Scratch" by pegaSix. Hmm, good song, it makes me want to get up and dance.

Yet I still can't think of anything to write about. I open up Firefox on my MacBook and load up Wattpad. It still appears that the only people reading my stories are

the people who are my real life friends, and not other people online. Bah, maybe I'll get more popular later.

I pick up a book that I got from a band fete for $2. "Devil bones" by Kathy Reichs. Although if I read this I might not be able to eat lunch. I close my MacBook and wish I had a better laptop. I go and steal- I mean, borrow my Mum's digital SLR camera and go and attach the zoom lens. I go outside and simply take pictures of anything I can find to take pictures of. That tree, the old cubby house, the pool, the lawn mower, the orchard, Josh, the old stables (not those lovely wooden ones you see in movies, some dodgy tin ones), clouds, the house, the garden, my Dad's Subaru Imprezza WRX STI, the fire hose, etc...

After that photography session, I head back inside. I browse the photos I took. In the end, I delete all of them except for some lovely photos of Josh, which I then go and upload to my computer. I upload a couple of them to FurAffinity, and head to the kitchen to make lunch. No cheddar cheese, no normal bread. Right.

Eventually I create one of my culinary failures. A bread roll cut in half, with chicken loaf and Parmesan cheese piled on top. I nuke it in the microwave, and take it out. I head back to my computer and start eating. Well, my pictures of Josh seem to be reasonably popular. New comment from Vebe on "Stick": So amazing fur^^

Yep, Josh is doing well. Thirteen years old and still kicking. I feel invisible hands attempt to tear my heart out as I remember Demi and Crystal. Their emergency trips to the vet. Their burials. I quickly shut down that train of thought before I kill off all of my enthusiasm.

I stand up and go outside again. Give Josh a pat. I walk over and pick up his "Stick", which is actually a small branch. I know he would rather a bigger one, but this one seems to be just big enough.

I call him over and hurl his "Stick", javelin style. Unfortunately, it didn't stick into the ground. But Josh still runs over and grabs the "Stick", flings it around a bit, chews on it, barks at it, barks at me to throw it again. I happily hurl his stick again. After a while I head back inside. My back hurts badly. I'm sure it's not supposed to, as I am only 13. But I still go and brace myself against a cupboard, and attempt to twist around until I am looking behind myself. Turn the other way. Rinse. Repeat. I step away, and my back feels a lot better, after I've stretched it out a bit.

I walk over to my schoolbag and pull out my drawing pads and pencils. I go outside and lie on the veranda. It has the best lighting I can find, so it is my favourite place to draw. I doodle. I sketch. I work on a drawing. I get bored. I pack up and head back inside.

I lie down on my lounge, and pull out my iPod. I open up my writing app called Werdsmith. Wow. I'm really starting to build up a collection of stories labeled LOST. An Unknown Friend Part LOST. Actually, there's a few of those. Bleh. I still need to find someone to go in part 4 of Unknown Friend. Maybe I could fiddle around with part 5 and change it to part 4. But I still need to find someone to go in the story.

Lets see, who do I know that could be in the story? I immediately think up multiple names, and then ditch them all. They've all been asked. They all declined. Ugh.

I could just use one of my characters, maybe Kübra? Nah, I want to use characters from other people, not just ones I made myself. I open up part 5. Yeah, it could be part 4. This doesn't need to be read 5th. Just fiddle around a bit, and voila.

But I still need to find someone else.

Sigh.

Open mac. Browse memories. Browse watch-list. Browse submission notifications. Browse journal updates. Browse Facebook.

Oh! Fox Amoore has replied to my message! I might be able to play in one of his songs! Awesome!

Still have to upload a recording of myself playing. Maybe I should get out my Bass Clarinet and play a song out of my book. Eh. Maybe I could play 'Waltzing Matilda'. I like that piece. It has a special meaning to me. But that's because it's a traditional Australian piece.

Still. Maybe I could finish that song I'm writing. If I could finish that song that I'm writing. I wonder if I can connect my keyboard microphone to my computer. Maybe there's an adapter for that.

Still, I need to get my big sister to teach me the fingering for Baritone Saxophone. She plays Tenor Sax, but the fingering is the same for all Saxophones. Or so they say.

It would be better if I could be enrolled as a saxophonist at my school. Then I would actually get an extra lesson for saxophone like I do for clarinet. But I started too late in the year, so I will have to wait for the next. I can probably still arrange a lesson or two outside of school with my teacher. I've still got to pay hire fees so I can take the Baritone Sax home.

Eh. Still need to find someone else for the story. But who? I'll just have to figure this out later.

I sit there for a moment, just thinking sobering thoughts about reality. How the universe I learn about in school seems so, hugely, massively different to the one outside my door. How all the things I learn about, like Mars, and World War 2, and third world countries, how all of these seem to be on a different planet to me, in my world of iPods, 3D TVs, pianos, saxophones, cars, radio...

If I follow that thought I'll never get anything done. Ugh. I open up SoFurry and browse. Cray Fox has changed his username to Mikkel-Brandt. Alright.

I think I've asked him if he would be in my story. He never answered. Fine. Back when he was Cray Fox, he said he would take music requests. I requested a song. He never answered. Fine. I know artists and musicians have the right to refuse a commission or request, but personally I would like some response, even if it's just a 'OK' or 'NO WAY'. And he's definitely been online. He's posted four or five pieces of music. And that requires a connection. Maybe he didn't see it. Because if he is super popular, then he may not receive my PM. But I partially discussed this with him, in a comment on one of his songs.

Meh. Could be worse. I could still be looking for a character for a story. Oh wait.

Sarcasm, not my greatest strength.

Bleh. Most of my day gone. Nothing much accomplished. Fine. I'll have to do more tomorrow. And maybe I'll find someone to go in the story...