Gamble

9. Not a good day, eh?

It's been a week and I haven't given them an answer yet. It's selfish of me to keep them hanging like that but it's a big decision and I had to think it out carefully. Neither uncle and Aunt nor the Mehmuds have questioned me yet, something I'm thankful of. I don't have an answer yet, at least not one that would satisfy both me and them.

Zehra had been surprisingly quite too. She had kept to herself and we had never talked about this topic openly. But I wasn't blind enough to see the gleam of hope in her eyes. As young girls of 10 or 11 we had fantasized about marrying in the same house so that we would never be separated, two sisters married to two brothers. Only if it was as simple as that.

It was a big decision. I had no reason to say no and none to say yes. I hadn't planned on marrying this early but I didn't see anything wrong in it either.

School was just like always: Boring. Although I am a good student, I have to work harder to catch up with the stuff I left when I wasn't at school. The number of sympathetic glances sent my way has lessened in the past couple of days and even Nooh Suleiman acts like a normal, sane human now. Talking to him was a lot easier now, and a lot less awkward. We would exchange smiles and salaams from time to time. I even felt better talking to him or asking him stuff that was confusing me. I felt as if he would know how I feel, after all he had also lost someone he loved.

It had happened two years ago. Nooh had recently lost his sister to Leukemia. But no one acknowledged it, just like no one acknowledged Nooh. He wasn't one to be under the spotlight, he kept to himself most of the time. We were midway through biology class; studying symptoms of cancer when the jerk of a man Evan had snickered and said "Shouldn't we ask that from Nooh, he would know every inch of his sister's body, after all." It happened in the blink of an eye. One moment Nooh was silently on his seat, the next he stood up with such force the chair toppled over and in an instant his fingers curled around Evan's throat. It had taken 4 guys and the teacher to pry his hands off, but he didn't let go until he shoved his head on the desk with such force I heard the thud from 4 rows behind. He was suspended for two weeks and Evan for 3 days. Nooh didn't come back for a few months after that. His parents had informed the school staff he had been to a counselor and needed this time to himself. He had returned to be a completely different guy. More confident. Although he still kept to himself, his circle of friends had widened. He was respected, and feared too.

Maybe that was what brought in me this confusing connection to him. That we suffered the same pain, the same loss.

My job at the counter was much fun. I did something I had a keen eye about. I met different people some I liked from school, the neighborhood. But there were days people I wasn't so fond of came my way. And on one of these days I saw Ahmed Khan, the beloved son of Aunt Saima. But he wasn't alone. He had an arm slung around a very scantily clad girl. Even Miley Cyrus wore more clothes.

I was working on the cash register that day, as we were short on staff and we most definitely had to cross paths. I acted neutral, as if I didn't recognize him. I wished he didn't but he did. I saw his eyes narrow into slits and a shadow of recognition pass his face. Thank God he remained silent. I had nothing to do with a guy like him and didn't even want to talk to him in public.

By the time I returned home, dinner was already cooked. Dinner was spent with everyone discussing the days events. I told them all about school and the upcoming tests. Also that I had to work the register today, carefully omitting out the part where I encounter Ahmed with a half naked white girl.

It isn't until we were about to retire for the day when I tell Zehra about him. She curses, getting her disapproving glare from me.

"What?" she exclaims "Aunt Saima's son can do the doodlie doo with half the town but I can't meet my fiancé in a public place? Talk about equality"

I shrug.

"You wait Yusur; I am going to throw it back at her for what she did to you."

"What? No. Zehra that's not why I told you about it. Besides he knows I work there and I don't want more trouble from either him or his peers."

"You won't get into any trouble Yusur. You have my word on that. Saima just needs a taste of her own medicine." She plops herself on my bed.

"Just let it go Zehra" I said. "Not now. I already have a lot on my mind right now"

She lets out an audible sigh but doesn't object. I know her well enough to know she won't do anything stupid this time.

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I don't know whats gotten into me (too much free time, maybe) But I'm writing like craaazaaayyy.

My mom is asking why I am on my laptop when I should be studying *guilty* :,(

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