Even If It Kills Me.

 ((Clove's thoughts about Cato before the games.))

I’m going to kill him.

Those words keep repeating through my mind. I know I shouldn’t care. But I do. This is what I -we’ve been training all our lives for. He’s prepared to kill me, I know he is. He’s strong, aggressive, a fighter. He’s ambitious. He’ll destroy anything in his path to get what he wants. Even his beloved girlfriend.

Selfish. That’s a good word for him. And yet, I can’t help but love it- love him. We had always been partners, training for the games. We both knew that this day would come, but chose not to think about it. Now, now he volunteered. Volunteered to kill me. I can’t help but regret our fight last night, it was stupid. I mean, so what if he never showed up for our date? I shouldn’t of yelled at him, I should’ve listened. But no, instead I yelled, threw my dinner knife at him. I missed though, of course. Purposefully. I would never try and actually hurt him.

Until now, when I have to. Or do I?  I mean, who says I have to be the one to kill him in the end, maybe I’ll just let him kill me first.. but.. do I really want to just give up so easily?  I-I love him. I know I do.. with all my heart. But do I love him enough to let him kill me?, make a joke of me? No..

 I’m going to win this thing, even if it kills me.