I used to be such a cute and naive kid, Growing up I don't think I ever was let down to the point where I could see the world the way I'm seeing it now, I believe the reality I lived in, so many years ago was my own creation. High school had always been some magical mystical land to me, I would watch these high school movies and just dream away the days with fabricated high school stories for myself as long as I can remember. I had sky high hopes for absolutely everything, Ive always been an optimistic sucker for new beginnings.
Walking into school I had high hopes but no plans, and I was fine with that. My high school years we're going to be spontaneous and full of adventures, I convinced myself that I didn't need to be the most popular girl nor did I need the jock to fall in love with me, all I needed was a group of perfectly crazy friends to make my years memorable. Looking back I can be honest and say that I was a hormonal teenager so of course I was looking for some romantic action, maybe with a cute classmate or a teacher you never know,but it was never my priority.
I had all my school supplies, had all the trendy stuff, I even watched all the new Netflix shows in the summer to easily break the ice. But I didn't seem to get trough to anyone, it's easy to get discouraged when the third girl you talk to rolls her eyes at you. The two first were kind but their eagerness to get away from the conversation was an easy thing to see. I'm not sure why I was avoided like the plague but I got the message, I was already annoyingly eager, I wasn't about to make things worse so I withdrew. First year was of to a rocky start. I got into a group after a while but it wasn't with "perfectly crazy people ", it was more of a I don't want to eat alone in the bathroom kind of gathering. I know that sounds shallow but I don't think it mattered to any of the members if I was there or not.
