☯ ხαd ιητεητιοηs ☯

eleven.

-sighs- i hate trying to talk to people sometimes. especially the ones i used to talk to. it just makes me feel like they've built up this type of disgust for me and when i want to try to make things better, i just can't... i immediately stop myself. because although i'm hoping for the best response, i'm too much of a coward to only think of the worst response. so i'm sorry if you hate me or whatever. i'm sorry that i haven't been there when i said i would be. i'm sorry i left. i'm sorry i made it seem like i didn't care when deep inside, i really did. i'm sorry for fucking up. i'm sorry for having this anxiety and not wanting to be rejected. i'm just sorry, okay? i just want you to know that, i tried. i tried changing and being a good person. please, do not be disgusted by me or hate me. i'm taking pride in my disgusting self, but that doesn't mean you should too