The hoe (hxh fanfixtion)

Chapter 1

Machi was the first to come to the conclusion that Hisoka was a hoe.
She walked up to Chrollo, who was sitting on some rubble and reading a book by a candle. "Boss? I have some important info I think I need to share with you..."
Chrollo squinted. The light from the candle wasn't bright. He held the book directly above the candle. Much better. "Yes, Machi?" he asked, not looking up from his book, which was a crossword puzzle.
"I...suspect member #4, Hisoka, is a hoe."
Chrollo filled in a word on his crossword puzzle, fisting the air at his success. "Why do you say that?"
She shrugged, "Just a hunch."
Chrollo's crossword puzzle book was starting to smoke. It would catch fire any minute now. "I see," he replied, calmly filling in another word into his burning crossword puzzle. The book was on fire.
It was then that Pakunoda stepped up. "I have proof that #4, Hisoka, is in fact a hoe."
Chrollo was beginning to experience third degree burns. "Alright. Let's hear it." He gathered the rest of the troupe to hear this too. This would be interesting.
"For one," Paku began, "he always gets phone calls at odd times."
"And what constitutes an 'odd time'?" Chrollo asked. He was losing feeling in his book holding hand, since it was on fire and all.
"Like, 1 or 2 in the morning," Paku replied.
Chrollo set his flaming book down on the rubble beside him and finally looked up. "Your point being?"
"Those are...booty calls, boss," Machi explained, grimacing at the mention of booty calls.
"And you confirmed these calls he's been receiving are...booty calls?" Chrollo asked, not completely sure what a booty call was. It sounded gross so he didn't want to ask either.
"That's the only time anyone would make a booty call," Nobunaga chimed, making everyone wonder how he knew that. But no one asked.
Chrollo nodded in understanding. "Alright. What else makes him a hoe?"
"Whenever he shows up for troupe meetings, he always finds a reason to leave, presumably to hang out with his 'friends'," Paku said, once again spitting the truth.
Chrollo was definitely confused there. "Again, what's your point?"
An quiet yet exasperated sigh could be heard from among the spiders gathered before Chrollo. It was from Feitan. "His friends are hoes, boss," the short spider chirped.
"Oh!" Chrollo said. At this point Shalnark was treating the burn on his hand. "Then, what do you want me to do about it?"
"Kick him out of the troupe," everyone said in unison.
"Okay." Chrollo used his non-burned hand to get his phone out of he pocket and texted Hisoka:
--hey. im kicking you out of the troupe because you're a hoe.
He put he phone back into he pocket. "Done," Chrollo said.