Kiss Cam

Ch. 18 - Permanent

"But let's not talk about it here."

"Okay..where do you want to go?" I ask slowly.

He takes my hand and walks us out of the school. I'm surprised that a teacher didn't come running after us. Honestly, they are probably used to Asher and his friends leaving school and decided they just don't care anymore.

We stop at his truck. He opens the door for me, looking more nervous than anything else. I climb in about to say something when he shuts the door and runs to the other side.

When in the car, Asher starts up the engine and pulls out of the parking lot. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel, his lip tucked beneath his teeth.

"Where are we going?" I ask, confused and a bit worried.

"I-I just need to drive," he says unconfidently. "It helps relax me."

"Okay." I look out the window, watching as we pass town. "What did you want to talk about?"

His fingers tap against the steering wheel even harder. "Uh, there's really no easy way to say this."

We're driving along the beach now, the ocean visible. The sand is almost white, blurring together as Asher speeds past.

"Well, just say it. You can tell me anything, Ash," I say, wanting him to man-up and just tell me what the heck is going on.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I think we need to take a break."

In a lot of ways, I expected this. Asher had been ignoring all of my calls and texts and the whole "we need to talk" thing was a dead give away.

But of course, being Riley Green, I had hope that this wouldn't be the case. I had hope that Asher just wanted to tell me he loved me for the first time.

Who am I kidding?

"Why?" I ask, my heart hurting.

"I care about you so much, Riley. I just... I'm not ready for a serious commitment."

My eyebrows bunch together as I try to piece things together. "What is this about? Did I do something wrong?"

When we're stopped at a red light, Asher turns his body to face mine. "It's seriously just because I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. I mean, I could honestly see myself falling in love with you. I'm only a junior and that scares me. If you can find it in you to wait for me, I feel like you could be the one for me."

I open my mouth, trying to find the words to respond. That was incredibly romantic and heartbreaking at the same time. "I-I don't know what to say."

"That's okay. You don't have to."

He makes a U-turn and heads back to the school. I sit uncomfortably in the car, desperately wanting to jump out.

"I-I kind of feel like I do!" I stutter. "I-do you just want to see other people? If so, just tell me. I don't want to wait and wait when you never actually planned on coming back to me."

"I just want to protect this," he says and points from me to himself. "We could break up over something stupid and you would hate me. I think we both need to take a break and see if this is what we want. This isn't the end; it's a break."

I don't know whether to start crying or to start jumping for joy. Asher wants to end whatever we have right now to protect what we could have in the future. It's confusing, but I almost see what he means.

We're juniors. In high school. Asher clearly isn't ready for a serious relationship, and I can't blame him for that. When he's ready, I'll be here waiting.