The home for the criminally insane

chapter 6

I woke up the next morning in a panic. I don't even really know why but i woke up feeling disoriented and out of place. Could it be because I had actually seen a ghost? Or could it be because I'm going batshit crazy. I'm not even really sure what is real anymore. Everything feels like a dream. I've only been in this place a few days and I feel like I am slowly starting to become a breathing walking Psychopath. 

Dylan has started something within me. He has kept me up all night thinking about what the hell had happened to him. I'm not really sure whether to be scared or to be thankful that he has trusted me enough to come to me with his murder. How do I really know who to trust? I mean after all we are in an asylum. People do stuff to get out of here all the time. They withhold the truth, They pretend to be someone they're not just so they are granted the liberty of getting out of here. I don't know how they do it. How can they lie through their teeth and not feel guilty about doing it. 

I feel guilty if I even so much as look at someone the wrong way. I can't imagine pretending to be okay when in all reality I really want to be any where other than here. I don't know why but i thought being in this place would make me feel of less like a shit head and a worthless piece of shit but honestly, it has made me feel like I deserve this. 

My parents are just punishing me for being the daughter they never wanted. They never expected to be this unlucky to have a daughter who could do something so stupid as to attempt suicide. Mommy and daddy are all Mr. and Mrs. perfect. God forbid something goes completely and utterly wrong in their lives and all hell breaks loose. I can't even remember the times when they had asked me how my day was going. Its been about two years since they have cared enough to pay attention to me. 

Most of the time my suicide attempts were a plead for help to get them to notice that I was hurting. But did they? No they did not. They just went on with their lives like everything was fine. The pain all started when I met Logan. Not at first though, at first he was everything I could've ever wanted in my life. He was the definition of perfect. He was the kind of guy who would open doors for you and drive you home after a long day at school. He was the kind of guy all the girls at school wanted to be with. And somehow I got so lucky as to have him in my life. 

He came up to me one random day at school and asked me if I was feeling alright because he had heard that I was out of school for a month. He definitely did not know the reason why I wasn't in school and I sure as hell was not going to tell him why either. I wanted to give him the ultimate element of surprise.  But you know how messed up kids are in highschool so im sure he has some ideas as to why I haven't been here much. 

It's crazy because when I first met him my life was great but then he met Willow. She changed his life completly. She got him into drugs and all kinds of things that most of the time I don't even feel comfortable talking about. Those stories I will save for another day when I have more time to think, and trust me there will be a lot of those days in here that I am sure of. 

Anyway, after he died, that is the reason I had turned out like this. He left me with no fucking reason. How stupid can you possibly be to leave a person like that. They say his death was an accident but we all sure as hell know it indeed was not. He had come home from a party that night and was drunk off his ass and thought it would be okay to drive his stupid motorcycle home in the rain of all things. 

He was supposed to come home to me that night. And when hours passed by and he still didn't make it home, that's when I got really worried. I called him over 20 times making sure he was alright and he didn't answer me. I went to bed that night worrying if I would ever see logans precious smile again. I didn't and for that I will always hate him for it. When he didn't come home the next morning I had informed his mom that he never came home and that is when she went to the cops. They had found his body in the Lakeside river, along side his motorcycle. It had looked like he purposely drove off the side of the road into the water, but the cops like to pretend like it was an accident. I know for a fact it wasn't and if I wasn't so fucked up I could've proved it wasn't. But I wasted so much time being fucked up I just let my self believe it was an accident. 

My thoughts of logan suddenly got interrupted when Myles started knocking on my door. 

"KNOCK KNOCK, are you decent in there Melina. I have great news for you that I'd love to share with you if you are able to hear some good news"

I got up from where I was sitting on the floor and slowly paraded over to the door knocking on it twice to let him know I was decent. "Yeah I'm decent what's the news" I said to him hoping to god it would be better than what I've been thinking. 

" It looks like you have received a letter from someone named lacey? Is that name familiar to you at all, it looks thick and important." he said as he opened the door and thrusted a big orange envelope into my hands. 

I quickly took it from him and said, " UH yeah, it's just someone I used to be friends with before I got sent away. I doubt it's really a big deal she likes to send me a bunch of random stuff to make me feel better I guess. I haven't really talked to her in a few months. Not since the accident."

"Well, maybe you should open it. But first things first let's get you ready for breakfast. I heard Ash was looking for you. Are you ready to go?"

I looked around my room to find somewhere to set this thick envelope and decided I would just put it on my bed. "I'm ready now" I said as I walked open to the door. "let's go im starving."

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been a really long time since i have updated sorry guys. Being an adult is hard and always having to think of new ideas is hard as well. Ive been in a writers block for quite some time and I finally decided it was time to stop being stupid and start writing again so there you go hope this chapter helped to bring you guys into her life more.