Through The Dark // Larry Stylinson

Chapter 2

Louis' POV

    I looked across the massive stage in front of 40,000 people to the one person in the place that I truly loved. That would be Harold. Harold Edward Styles. He was still singing the opening verse of Clouds and I could see his eyes were clouded with thought, metaphorically speaking of course. I followed the trail of his eyes to a sign in the 10th row. It read, "LOUIS CONGRATS ON THE BABY".

    As I sang my bridge into the chorus, I continued to watch Harry and saw the troubled look on his face as he glanced to me and looked away as soon as our eyes met.

We weren't allowed to look at each other too often or for too long. My solo probably sounded terrible and out of tune but I couldn't focus with Harry looking so distraught. Mostly because part of it was from my actions.

As sad as it was to think it, Harry's mood would have to wait and be dealt with later. As much as I wanted to run over and hold him till his hurt went away, I knew I couldn't. I knew I could probably never go near him again if I even walked up to him. Everyone would hate us, even our fans. I was sure of it.

     I tried to not look over at Harry after that. I really did want to put on a good show. The fans deserved it. They were the ones who kept Harry and I together after all. I couldn't possibly let this crowd down. My job was too important to focus on things that could be fixed later.

Harry's POV

     After I looked away from Louis, my longing to have him near me grew and grew through the entire show, a whole hour and a half. An eternity in my eyes. At least it felt like one. Why wouldn't he look at me? Oh wait, of course I knew why. He wasn't even allowed to look at me. At least not as often as he hopefully wanted to. I just wanted this night to be over.

Usually performing gave me this massive rush and happiness. A pure joy that I couldn't really get from anything else. Not tonight I guess. Tonight was much different. A million thoughts swirled around in my head as I heard the screams and shouts from the crowd.
.....
     I put on my worst performance that night. Everything I did was forced. This included my fake smile and laugh as I tried to use the energy from the crowd to help me. I really wanted to put on a good show. My adrenaline of playing to that many people was all I had going for me. Even that wasn't really enough. It was the only thing keeping me from going backstage and crying.

The whole show was just this big awkward, stinking mess and I couldn't even begin to fix it. At least that's how I saw it. Oh how I wanted to. Oh how I wanted Louis to be happy. Oh how I wanted to tell everyone I loved him. Oh how I wanted his baby to be our baby.

But of course, it couldn't be. That was the whole point of the scheme, for no one to suspect that we were together. It seemed like anything we did anymore was some fake anti-gay propaganda conducted by our management team.

     Yes, I said our management. Ever since Louis and I told them we were together, they had tried to keep us hidden. They had tried to change us and make us the perfect little pop stars they wanted us to be. They probably needed us to be perfect because it would ruin them if we weren't. Well guess what? We're gay. Deal with it.

     Louis and I starting dating a few weeks after the band had spent some quality days at my stepdad Robin's house. We had met before because our bands had seen each other at various competitions and shows. I remember seeing him again on the first day of bootcamp on X Factor. I couldn't believe it, it was actually him. We actually reconnected by the toilets of all places!

Those were the best days of my life. I didn't have to ever hide who I was. I didn't have to lie to anyone.

I mean, we didn't go around telling people we were together. We didn't go out of our way to tell people we were different. Everyone just saw how we acted around each other and they knew. Those were the days when no one was telling us how to act in interviews or whenever a camera was around us. We were free to say weird things, make jokes and be as close to each other as we wanted. It was just a different closeness now. More emotional than being physically close in public.

We had told the boys about us as soon as we decided to be together. They didn't judge us harshly, thank god. I don't know what would have happened if they disagreed with our plans. They were all just so nice about it and that's probably one of the many reasons we became best friends.

Now it's like Louis and I were trapped inside our own bodies. We weren't allowed to ever stand or sit next to each other in interviews and photoshoots, touch or look at each other for too long or even talk in public.

It made me furious. It made me furious because I couldn't show my fans how much I loved Louis. I didn't care about the whole world. Screw it. I just wanted the people who thought they knew everything about me to know.

Why didn't I just leave then, like Zayn? Zayn left because he wanted to do something different. He wanted to make the music he wanted to make and he was going to do that. That's fine, I still loved and he'd always be my brother. I'm wasn't mad about that. I guess I was mad that he escaped. He got out of the clutches of our managers while he still could.

I wouldn't want to do anything else. I loved this job and the people I work with. I just want people to know who I really am and I want to be able to be with Louis all the time, not just behind the curtain backstage.

Life's not always a walk in the park but you certainly can't hide forever. What's the fun in that?

Sorry this is off to a bit of a slow start. I'm trying to extend my chapters so they're a little bit longer. I wanted to provide a lot of background information in this chapter. As you can see, some of it is proven while a lot of it is not. Thanks for reading!