some of my friends planned to go to a concert which is 6 hours away from our town. And I was depressed as soon as I heard that because let's face it.. my dad won't let me out anywhere that far. who m I kidding.. well let's give it a try.. no harm done in trying. .so I ask him and he says "no" just like that no questions asked and no discussions.. m so lucky to have a dad like him.. Yeah m being sarcastic. m 20 years old.. not a 10 years old girl anymore. he let my YOUNGER brother go off to the same place as the concert when he was 16. Yeah 16. sexism much? anyway I was hurt for some unknown reason.. yes unknown to me because I'm used to him saying no .. but this one felt like someone putting a knife in my chest and deliberately twisting it. agonising pain. been crying ever since .. not in front of anyone in my family. Can't show weakness. Haha. strange. it's my family right? why m I talking like that. no answer to that. Oh well. this is how it's been from the beginning anyway .. so I NEED to get used it. I feel like actually saying the word lol. Lol lol lol. My life's a disaster at the moment. While I'm really insecure about myself... I get some happiness out of hanging out with my friends .. but my family has to ruin that too. As if they haven't done enough. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. So my rant for today is done. Adios.
