Just One Kiss (Lesbian Story) - Completed

Chapter 3

Useless. Worthless. . Moron. Bitch. Slut. Fag. Whore. Those are things that go on in my head as I run. I don't really see where I am going and honestly, I don't really care. Any place far away from them, from here is a heaven in itself.

There are two things that could happen when you are repeatedly told something. It both looses its meaning and has no effect on you whatsoever, or it becomes your new fucking philosophy.

No matter how much I tried, how much I refused to take it to the heart, turn a deaf ear to it, I realize now, that they had gotten to me. I didn't want to allow them. I just wanted them to leave me the fuck alone. But, I guess after some point your choices aren't really in your hands.

I stop when I couldn't continue anymore. I bend down to clutch my shaking knees and try to catch my breath, wheezing painfully and noisily through nose. I close my eyes and concentrate on inhaling the fresh air, parting my lips to take in more. I can feel the sweat wetting my tank clothes and pouring down my forehead.

I wait until my heartbeat somewhat comes back to its steady rhythm and then open my eyes to inspect where I had come. It takes a moment for me to realize where I was and when I do sharp pain and longing strikes my heart, making me struggle for breath again. I had not been here in months. This was the place it had all begun....or ended, depending on the way you look at it. Codon Hill was what it was called. It is the place where my world had done a one-eighty-degree somersault and bitch-slapped me into misery.

Being here again, brings back all those painful memories. Memories I'd rather forget. I especially couldn't but help remember the kiss. I involuntarily brush my fingers across my lips, relieving my sweet kiss of death.

The evening before 'it' happened, was the best in my life. As clichéd as it sounds, it is the truth. I had finally confessed my love for Callie, blurting it out unceremoniously. I had kept it to myself for so long that it had become physically painful to see her without longing. I remember now with a smile, how I had waited, sweating profusely with the tension, apprehension, fear and embarrassment, for her to reply to my uncouth confession. Then I saw that beautiful blush that was like a salve to my painfully stuttering heart and that coy smile warmed it like hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.

I pulled up her chin with my trembling fingers to look into her exotic almond eyes. Then, I kissed her full on the lips, claiming her as my own, something that I had desired to do for a very long time.

That night, we had talked for hours, about things we had never touched before. The rising sun did not matter. We were in our own little bubble of bliss. I held her hand the whole night and admired her as she slept in my arms.

I smile at that memory. It was, without a doubt, the best time I had ever had. And of course, as is the universal law, all good things should come to an end. But my ethereal bliss was so short lived that I got a whiplash.

Callie and I had come to this very same spot to spend out tome together. Codon hill was also infamously called the make-out point of the town. And we, being each others first girlfriends had to come here to complete the rite of passage ritual of high school. We had to do what all other horny teenagers do in this not-so-secret hill. We had to make out.

It was while we were in our lip-lock that 'it' happened. We heard the clicks of the cameras first, before the catcalls and innuendos started. We immediately broke away to look at the gang of boys and girls, some known and others unknown, who were laughing and making rude gestures. I clearly remember it like it had happened only yesterday. The feeling of mortification, humiliation, embarrassment, closely followed by fear, was not something I could forget for several lifetimes. I remember being rooted to the ground. It was like a nightmare happening in slow-motion.

I was snapped out of my daze with the retreating footsteps of Callie running. I ran after her, calling out to her, but she never stopped. And neither did the nightmare. It only got worse.

The pictures of us kissing had travelled like wild fire throughout the internet. I cringe, even now, at the memory of the next day at school. The whispers, the stares, the glares, the laughs, were only the first of many to come. But what had hurt me.. no destroyed me the worst was when Callie had refused to acknowledge me after. She ran away from me once and for all and I had been running after her ever since. I can't count the number of phone calls, messages, and such I had left her. She had ignored all.

But the worst of all, was when Callie joined the bitch gang led by the royal bitchiness Risha herself, insinuating me for tricking her into the kiss, was the last push. I had broken-down in front of all those disgusted and unsympathetic eyes. The truth about my 'abnormality' had made its way around the whole town. My parents hating and blaming me for their receding status in the social circles was just a bonus. And the rest is history.

I can taste the salt. I don't recall sinking to the ground, but that's where I am now, on the ground, crying my broken heart out. It would never stop. I realize that now. No matter where I go, this stigma attached to me like a shadow would always haunt my days. I would never claim my life again. There would always be these people, the bullies; we talk of so much, who would never let me go. I would always be humiliated, condemned to a box of unwanted and unloved people because of something i have on control over. I would never break free.

I walk towards the edge of the hill. I look down at the chasm. Usually, my stomach would churn at the sight, but not today. My blood is fueled with steely determination and conviction that is like an anesthetic, numbing my heart. All I could see was freedom, beckoning me with open arms, at the end of the abyss. All I had to do was let go one and for all. And I was ready.