Prologue

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Prologue 2:45am

Jordan stared into the bathroom mirror. Showered, tired, and winding down from another demanding shift in a busy restaurant; she listened closely to the quietness of her small apartment. She took a deep breath, settling herself. Jordan was happy with her decision to move to the midwest city. The irony of finding peace and solitude in the city the size of Chicago was not lost on her. The life she was building, the connections she was creating, were limited, but Jordan was content with her choices.

When most people think of mind reading it's chiseled vampires or superheroes that are at once the saviors of the world and the source of apocalypse. It seems romantic, powerful, or like a skill that the average person would kill for. A power like that would be something to be envied, a skill to be treasured, a supernatural jackpot; helpful in navigating a complex world.

Jordan knew better. She understood all too well how painful and alienating "mind reading" could be. For her, it was something that was isolating, driving her back into herself. It kept her from connecting in the most meaningful, human ways.

Jordan didn't read thoughts cleanly. She didn't have access to discrete, clear motives. She sensed emotional profiles, nuances, and layers. Jordan was never certain about the degree of the sensory input she would experience. It ranged from intense and caustic, to dull and constant, to nuanced and subtle. What she did know was that she had limited control; often being bombarded by unwanted emotional waves that washed over her whether she invited them or not.

At a young age, she discovered that the closer she was to a person in proximity, the more energy washed over her. As a child, she felt sometimes connected to complete strangers immediately. Other times, she was confused and terrified by the wash of emotion. Children were often the most challenging to be around. Jordan came to understand that while genuine in their emotions and intent, they were often just as confused and erratic as she was in their wants, desires, and needs. Experiencing children was like working through a bowl of Jelly Bellies without a key, blindfolded, and trying to guess the flavor before eating a jelly bean.

In older children and adults, Jordan seemed to understand more easily the nature of a person's emotions and purpose in their actions, but only within the moment. This limitation of her built-in radar had tragic consequences, and she likened it to seeing a scene in a movie with no context. In her teenage years, Jordan struggled to develop relationships because physical contact would intensely reveal the wants and desires of her peers. She knew that it was normal for kids her age to be driven by libido and concerned with social standing, but the daily onslaught of her "friends" moments of jealousy, deceit, and lust masked behind kind words and innocent smiles drove Jordan to withdraw to a virtual recluse. It seemed so unfair to her.

As she grew through painful years in her youth, awkward years in high school, and chaotic years in college she discovered that if she concentrated she could pull herself back, close herself off, diminish some of the daily onslaught of emotion. It cost her friendships, experiences, and love. In turn, she could concentrate and reach out to people, opening herself up. As a result, she might experience caustic emotional or physical pain. Every choice she made had the potential to have devastating consequences.

In the most recent years, Jordan's interest in cooking, and her career choice as a chef, led her to frame the sensory processing as emotional "tasting" that revealed the true nature and nuance of both the emotions and thoughts of an individual. When she came into contact with emotional energy, she was able to gain generalized insight into people's intent and feelings. Jordan discovered that a person's "taste," their undeniable truth and emotions, ultimately revealed the genuine nature of their being.

In culinary school, Jordan's ability to taste people's emotions strengthened, and she worked to try to gain control over the process. She began to recognize individuals' emotions with greater ease and with understanding of not just the immediate self, but the characteristics that endured in their life.

There was still no direct line to their literal thoughts, but there was a very clear understanding of the nature of their immediate agendas and emotional anchors, as well as the ideals and behaviors that directed their lives. Perhaps one of the most important things that Jordan learned was patience and empathy. She herself matured and learned that all people have moments when they are not their best selves, but it didn't necessarily make them bad people. That realization was a relief beyond measure.

Unfortunately, it also became painfully apparent that one particular response wasn't diminishing as she aged. Close physical proximity still yielded a more intense "taste." Jordan learned intimate connections were too often emotionally taxing and sometimes painful. Giving herself over to someone with love and tasting distance, sorrow, and resentment rolling off them was at best distracting and confusing, and at worst, a blow to her very being.

Loving another person soon became simply too much for Jordan to bear. By the time Jordan reached her mid-twenties working as a sous chef, she likened her "gift" more often to a curse. The "tasting" of emotional profiles was complex and like being force fed a mouthful of a dish she didn't necessarily want to eat. As a chef it felt like the most immediate and prominent components of the plate stood out at first glance, but ultimately the subtlety of the dish, the lingering smells, and the layers of flavors would always come through.

Jordan finally began to find rhythm in her life. She managed to live with restraint and she distanced herself from most people as a means of survival. She learned to be a more patient and accepting person as she was aware of more flaws in people than anyone has the right to know about. She went through a period of time when she felt like she was living a life that was unfair, cruel, and full of pain; until ultimately she embraced her situation, and at least for now, maintained routine. She convinced herself that she was content.

Kaitlyn Lane, with her stunning green eyes, unique emotional energy, and precocious younger sister was going to change Jordan's entire world. When she and Molly sit down to have a "secret mission meal" where Jordan works. Jordan is no longer convinced that she has the power or desire to maintain her tightly controlled life.

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