"...the old familiar stain. Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything..." The music blares through my speakers at full volume. I don't care if the neighbors can hear. I'm busy.
"What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end." I sing along with Johnny, my voice hiding underneath his deep, strong one. My hands tremble as I line up the pills neatly on the coffee table. A glass of water stands tall next to them. "And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down... I will make you hurt."
I sit quietly while the second verse plays. I will listen to this whole song before I swallow the eight pills. All of them are Advil. I figured that would be enough to do the trick. Yeah, I'm about to do what think I'm about to do. Suicide. It's not like anyone cares. My family died, my friends abandoned me. Who else is there? God? Pfft. Everyone says that he's not a cruel god. But, then why is this happening to me?! I'm so... ALONE.
"What have I become, my sweetest friend?" I jump as the first words of the final chorus are sung. I take the glass of water and quickly swallow the eight pills. The world starts spinning and my vision clouds. 'Goodbye, cruel world. See you all downstairs.' I think as the song nears it's end, as well as my own. I sing along with the last two lines before I black out.
"If I could start again, a million miles away, I would keep myself. I would find a way."
