Bullied By The Omaha Boys

Chapter 24: But I want You

"Sammy." I whispered. "We cant do this."

I pulled away from his embrace and turned away walking particularly fast to get away from him. I knew if I stayed any longer I would get sucked back into his game. I got into my car and drove back to my hotel in hopes of escaping Sammy. I knew I had to leave, soon. I had to stick to my guns and show him that I wasn't joking around this time. He had to understand that, im not so easy to win back.

But the problem was I wasn't entirely sure if that's truthfully what I wanted. I wanted to be with him and I knew that in order to get that point across I was going to have to give up my argument and not prove my point.

To me, my pride seemed more important than admitting I was still in love with him, if I hadn't made it obvious already. I was going to play hard to get and that's the way it was going to be. I had to stick to my word, if I wanted to be taken seriously. So, I did as planned and the entire time I was in California I ignored his calls until my last day. Sammy called me while I was at the airport and I answered purely out of frustration.

"What." I spat out.

"Leah? Can we please talk? Come over." He suggested.

"Im leaving. Right now, in fact. Im in the airport."

"Im coming." He said hanging up.

There was no way he could make it in time. My flight boards in 20 minutes and it takes the same amount of time possibly more with traffic, to get here. And then he has to find my flight and where I am. I doubt he will make it shaking the thought off. But even though I knew, logically, he wouldn't make it in time, I still looked around for him. A part of me was waiting for him and wanted him to come. Maybe even have some huge romantic gesture in the middle of the airport to prove his love to me. But who am I kidding? This isn't some love story. And he isn't all that romantic, to even plan such a thing.

But just as I was trying to convince myself he seriously wasn't going to show before I get on my plane, he showed up. He was running away from a crowd of girls following close behind. See, what I had forgotten was that he was becoming pretty popular. By the people he was hanging out with, and the singles he has been releasing.

"Hey." He said out of breath.

"I have to go." I said.

"Im coming." he said. He had a bag and a ticket in his hand.

"Sammy." I whispered.

"Im not leaving you, leah! No matter what you say, it wont change what I feel for you!" he shouted.

I shook my head and sat back down and looked up at him. "Fine. But we aren't good."

"I know. And I will fix this. You just have to give me a chance!" He said.

"I don't have much of a choice do I?" I said.

"No, not really." he said laughing a bit.

I laughed a little and then he took some pictures with the girls. We boarded our flight shortly after that and I made an effort to not participate in any conversation while we were in the air.

"So, you're going to avoid talking to be now?" He asked.

"Yup." I said continuing to browse through the People magazine.

"I'm not going back to Omaha to spend time with my family. I mean, I will see them but, im going back for you. Lets just talk." He said.

"About what? I don't know what your goal is here. You left me! That's that nothing more to expand on." I said.

"But I left you to protect your feelings." He said.

"Yes because after all I am such a delicate little flower." I said sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant." He said defensively.

"Sure did sound like that."

"I didn't want things to end on a bad note. But after a week of being in LA I already felt like I had made the wrong decision. I shouldn't have left, and if I could go back I wouldn't have left. But at the end of the day, im living my dream. Isn't that what you want for me?"

"Of course! And that's why I don't think you should be chasing me. You cant have me and your dream. Im not going to leave my family and fly across the country to join you in a dream that I have no part in." I said.

"No part in? You are my dream! My dream is to have you by my side through everything and have a dog and 3 kids. I don't want a life without you. But also in the dream that INCLUDES you, I want to have a music career and travel." He said.

"Its not going to work out that way..." I said.

"Why not? What could possibly go wrong?"

"Im at home with a month year old trying to take care of him/her while you're on the road. I can already imagine me taking care of the kids alone and that's not what I want. I don't want my kids to have to say goodbye to their father every few months and then hope you will be back soon. I don't want the fame to get to your head and I don't want our marriage to be built on a house of lies. That's not how I plan to live." I said.

"I would never leave you at home with the kids!" He said.

"Then how else to you expect to go on tours and road trips?" I asked logically.

"I take you with me!" He said smiling wide.

"Oh no no no no." I said shaking my head.

"Why not?" He asked. "Seems like a perfectly fine idea with me."

I contemplated it. I mean I guess nothing could really go wrong. But I don't want to be traveling around with a 2 year old for 8 months straight and not see home. So I told him and he simply nodded his head.

"I want to make this work." Sammy said grabbing my hand. I yanked my hand away from him and said, "It takes time to earn trust back. And right now, I don't trust you."

"Oh c'mon Leah!" He said. "We both know that you and I still love each other as much as we did a couple of months ago."

"Love? You don't love me Sammy. You think you do but you don't. I was in a life threatening state at the hospital and you didn't move off the couch when you got the news. And, if you love me.. why would you leave me? I don't understand." I said.

"Didn't leave my couch?! Is that what you think?!" He asked his tone getting annoyed.

"Well, yeah."

"I drove all the way to the airport and sat in the parking lot sobbing for 3 hours. Then I turned around and went back home. I drank myself asleep and in the morning I did the same thing. I thought you deserved to have a better guy standing at your bedside. And when I heard how you got distracted from the road because of my call? I refused to forgive myself. I made myself believe that it was my fault you were almost dying. So, no, I didn't just shrug off the idea of a truck smashing into the car that held the love of my life." He said angry.

"Im sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." I said.

"Of course I felt that way! Leah, I'm in love with you and I swear nothing will change that. Nothing has changed except I made some bad decisions and I would change them in an instant if I could. I would be at your bedside at the hospital if I could and I would have stayed in Omaha if I could go back in time. But that's not how things turned out. But making these mistakes and being away from you for some time, I realized that my love for you is stronger than anything else."

"and that's why.." He continued but turned to his carry on bag and unzipped a pocket. "That's why I followed you here." He pulled out a black box.

"I came here to prove my love for you and I need you to understand that I will never leave you again. I love you so much, leah I could say it a billion times and not take back a single one. So, will you marry me?" He asked presenting me with the ring.