Big Book Of Laljin One Shots

Booze And Mistletoe (S)

TW: Alcohol Mention

I wake up with the aftertaste of moonshine in my mouth and mistletoe tangled in my hair. My back has small pains and feels sore. A shiver runs through it, so uncomfortable... I pause, what am I doing outside in the courtyard? ... I've fallen asleep on a stone walkway in the castle courtyard, apparently. I crane my neck up, it pops loudly in protest. The sun is hiding behind clouds, which to my stinging eyes are just blurs of grey. A large red figure closer to me takes my attention from the sky. "What the heck, Santa?" A blowup of the fat man is hanging upside down from the drawbridge; it gives me a jolly grin, as if this was some kind of funny thing. Well, I think waking up in my courtyard with snow landing on my nose is a LAUGH TOO, FUCK YOU SANTA CLAUS.

I sneeze, the brisk winter is getting to me. More shivers crawl down my arms and back as I stand and examine the yard. My back makes a cracking sound. Wonderful. Broken glass and streamers are shattered and shredded everywhere. The door to Nano's tower is wide open, it looks as if broken down by brute force. I take a few steps closer, my pounding head stopping me. I swear loudly in frustration, though it only succeeds in making me feel worse. My voice cracks, my throat parched, and the feeling of someone whacking my head with a plank makes me want to cry.

Stumbling through the doorway to Nano's tower, I find a few abandoned coats. Were other people here? I have no memory to answer that. What I am interested in now though is if whoever was here is still lurking about, and if they're knocked out unconscious. I would have no hesitations kicking whoever trashed my castle in the head and out the fucking window. If only moving didn't make my head shatter and explode and my voice not as tired and strained. Though I admit, a man yelling incoherently at me as he kicked my head in and tossed me out a castle window sounds rather terrifying.

I drag myself back outside and head to my own room. The elevator aggregates my head. I mutter curses under my breath as I walk into my bedroom, flopping onto my bed and releasing a loud and agitated sigh. I urge myself to go back to sleep, and wrap myself in the thick black blankets on the bed. The air in the blanket quickly grows warm, so I kick it back off and flip onto my back. My breath is tired and deep. As much as I'd like to brush my teeth to get rid of that awful alcoholic scent, my mind is in no mood to bother.

The bed is comfy, but also feels like cardboard. The pillows feel stiff. After shifting sides and positions for another while, how long it is I don't know cause I don't care. The only thought on my mind is just wanting to not feel sick. I struggle to sit up and stand, careful disturb my headache as little as possible. Downstairs I rummage through a chest to find water bottles. There's a few sitting in the bottom of one of the diamond chests. "Oh thank god." I sigh as I rip the cap off one and waterfall the liquid into my mouth. The water is cold and cleansing, though I nearly drown my lungs as I empty the bottle. Water spews out of my mouth as I straighten my head and attempt to swallow the literal mouthful of beverage. As it slowly swirls down my throat, I begin to cough, dripping more water onto my chin and shirt.

I toss the now empty bottle aside and pat at my purple t-shirt, the neckline is now drenched. I grip another bottle and some ibuprofen and return to the comfort of my bed. I bury myself in blankets, my head poking out at the end as if I am a turtle. The sun sets outside my window. I watch it and quickly fall asleep after downing some water and a couple ibuprofen tablets.

The next time I wake up, my headache has gone. I sit up with a small groan and stretch, letting my back and shoulders crack. Satisfied I rub my eyes and wrestle with my blankets so I can stand. I come back downstairs to the mess from a couple nights previously. A sigh escapes my lips as I look upon the shattered glass and stained floors. Where was Nano in all this madness?

"Nano!" I shuffle outside and call for my apprentice. "Nanooooo."

No answer. The door to her tower is still swaying on its hinges. Great, hopefully the heater hasn't been running. The hanging Santa Claus ho-ho-hos me as I tiptoe around glass and rainbow streamers. I flip the bird at him as I step into Nano's tower. "NANO?"