Holding on to Love

Chapter 1

It's been a year since that night. The night that I let everything go. Stopped feeling, thinking. Stopped living. It's been a year since I was betrayed by the one I loved, the one and only that I had let my guard down for. His name was Andrew Slater, and he was the best and the worst thing that had ever happened to me. For a year, I've not let myself open up and see things the way they are. But today, today is different. Seeing as it is the first anniversary of what caused our breakup, I've decided to let myself live my life. Maybe just for today, maybe forever. I don't know yet. 

I start by cleaning out my closet. You see, I have the most kick ass sense of style. It's all about floral prints and vintage pieces. I used to not care about what people thought of me, and for today, I'm going back to the way things used to be. The way I was always happy, and always excited for whatever the day would bring. I have no idea what will happen today, and whether it be tragic or life changing, well... bring it on! Yawning, I peeked over my satin bedspread to see the time. My alarm clock read 8:29 in glowing green letters. It would start beeping any minute now, so I decided to spare myself the dreadful noise and turned the alarm off. 

As I crawled out of bed, I noticed how messy I let my living space become. It had gotten to the point where I didn't notice it anymore, but today I will notice everything. I made a mental note to clean everything in my small apartment later on. It might surprise me and make all the difference. I stretched my whole body, even taking the time to try to touch my toes and get the blood flowing. After taking a few deeps breaths, I slowly walked across the plush carpet floor and pulled open my curtains. I had kept the sunlight covered up for too long. I stood there for about 5 minutes, just basking in the natural light that I had missed so much. A thought crossed my mind: what is my morning routine? I knew that I had one, but I just could not remember what I normally did to start my day! It was a Saturday morning, so there were no classes at the university to bother with. I decided to start by entering the lavish bathroom I had spent weeks redecorating. 

I was shocked at how fresh this room was kept during my... lock down, if you will. Although the smell wasn't exactly like roses, the facilities appeared to be clean, and in order. The correct shampoo and conditioner bottles were lined up neatly on the ledge in the shower, and my signature bar of coconut soap was lying in its pink soap dish next to it all. Sighing, I stripped myself of clothing, happy to be able to finally enjoy a shower after all this time. I stepped in and made sure that the temperature was turned to exactly the way I like it: steaming hot. I'm not usually one to sing in the shower, but I was feeling the power today. I really felt like belting out the lyrics to 'Love is a Battlefield'. I felt that it was a necessary step in the healing of my heart.  

After taking my unnecessarily long shower, I wrapped myself in a soft towel and dug out my iPod and iPod docking station. This morning really needed some theme music, I decided. As some preppy tunes blared in my ears, I took a look at myself in the mirror. I mean REALLY took a look. I'm not the skinniest girl ever. In fact, I guess you could call me pudgy. But I have character, alright? Whatever you may think, I don't usually give a damn what other people think of me. For the most part, I'm happy being me. Now, I see my long, sexy legs coming out of my towel. I had shaved them for once, and could I ever tell the difference. I have more of an hourglass figure, with long arms and a round face. I wear a size 36C bra, so I'm not missing out on anything in that department; if that was what you were thinking.  

As for my face: it's sort of round, but I would also use the word bright to describe it. I've never really had any problems with skin. I don't try hard or anything, but I always seem to have clear skin no matter what I do. In my opinion, my eyes are my biggest asset. Big and sparkly, they outshine the rest of me by a mile. I have no other way of describing their colour other than golden. I never have to wear any makeup because my eyelashes are long enough as is, and my skin only gets slightly shiny. I never bother with face powder though. The only thing I ever put on my full, cherry coloured lips is Chap Stick.