Holding on to Love

Chapter 4

                All week, I have been waiting for my date with Jace. Waiting isn’t the right word. More like anticipating, or even dreading. I’ve been worrying about what he’ll think of me ever since I had called him that afternoon.  Almost a week has passed, and it’s now Friday. I still have one more day to go before I really have to start worrying. Worrying about what to wear, what to say, what to do... The list is endless. If you have ever been on a date, you know the torture that you must experience beforehand. It’s not pleasant. Of course, this had to be the week where my self esteem has plummeted. Nothing helps more than looking and feeling horrible, right? Jace will surely be able to tell that I’m a complete and utter mess, like usual.

                Despite my rotten mood, I decide to head to the gym for a quick workout. The girls there are always so sympathetic, and I haven’t seen them in forever. And it wouldn’t hurt to at least try to shed a few extra pounds before tomorrow. I love that my gym is a woman only gym; it really helps build all of the members’ positive body images. Imagine having to workout beside a room full of ripped men. At first you would think, wow, a whole hour to stare at hot guys? But later on, you wonder why you ever got excited at the thought of them looking at you as you bounce and jiggle about on the treadmill. Not that most of us jiggle, but you never know.

                I have quite a few cute workout outfits. You may as well sweat in style if you are going to sweat at all. I opt for a simple pair of black capri leggings with blue stripes down the sides, and a loose fitting shirt that reads ‘Train like a beast, look like a beauty.’ Underneath the graphic number is a plain white tank top to cover my sports bra. I quickly throw in a few hair elastics and my sneakers into my gym duffle and grab a re-usable plastic water bottle to fill up. I never buy bottled water. I feel like I’m destroying our earth as we know it just by throwing out plastic every minute.

                When I make it to the gym, I sign in beneath the name Alice G, which had a little heart written in pink pen next to it. Her signature takes up two and a half lines. I remember Alice from the last time I had been here. Petite, and slim as a stick, she was always energetic and frankly, annoying. But her pep talks during workouts always made me push hard to try to get out of here and away from her, so I guess I was benefiting from it. She was like my personal trainer.

                After shoving my things in the locker room and tying my hair out of my face, I start at the treadmill to warm up. I was really feeling the beat of the music, and with Alice’s encouragement, I was back in the locker room in forty five minutes to change into my street clothes.  On the way out of the gym, I grabbed a shiny apple from the fruit basket at the front desk for a little extra nourishment. Plus it was free food, so I’m not complaining.

                I sat outside the building to finish my apple, looking out and observing the people walking past me on the street. The traffic was slow, as always, and it was pretty warm out. There were a few pedestrians walking their dogs. Dogs of all sizes littered the street. I noticed one across from me, staring me down. It sure was a big dog. It had chocolate brown fur. Beautiful.  Its eyes were the colour of the ocean at night, with a hint of... is that yellow? No, the light must be playing tricks on my eyes. But I swear I’ve seen that dog before. Where was its owner? It didn’t seem to belong to anyone.

                I turned to grab my bag off the back of the bench. When I turned back, the enormous dog was gone. In its place, a throng of people trying to get by. I was a bit shaken, to say the least. Had that been, in fact, a dog at all? I couldn’t have been anything else. I was just being my silly, paranoid self. Again.

                I continued on my way like nothing had happened. But I can’t act like nothing had happened. That animal looked at me like he knew me. But that couldn’t be possible, because animals can’t know someone, right?

                For the rest of the day, I wondered the streets of Chicago, searching for the perfect outfit for tomorrow night. I wanted something casual, not too fancy, but then again, not too casual. The requirements were pretty high. So I wasn’t surprised when I came up with nothing after the first hour or so. But I kept on looking, my head held high. I wanted to make a great first impression on Jace. Well, make that second impression. Or third, if you count talking on the phone.  Anyhow, I wanted to look good and confident, no matter how un-confident I was.

                I was browsing through a rack of clearance items at a little secluded vintage shop called À La Mode.  There were some very cute things here, very much my style. However, the prices were a bit high. Some were 30 dollars for a shirt. At the clearance rack, it was a little better. About half of the clothes here were fifty percent off or more. The others were around twenty percent off, which was good depending on the article of clothing. As you can see, I am quite the shopping expert. I can tell what’s good for the price and what you should just leave on the shelf and never look back at.

                “Can I help you find anything?” asked a tall and slim sales lady .

                “Actually, I was looking for something for a date. I need an outfit that’s affordable, and has kind of an old, romantic feeling to it. Easy, right?” I grin sheepishly, knowing full well that this task was far from easy.

                “Hmm... well, let me take a look out back. I think I saw something earlier that might suit you. I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

                She left me to go back to my browsing and returned a couple of minutes later, two clothing hangers in hand.

                “I think I’ve found the perfect things!” The lady exclaimed.

                She held up the first rack. Hanging on it, falling to the floor in ripples was a pair of loose fitting, mustard coloured gypsy pants. Along the waistband there was wide black elastic. The pants were adorable.

                “Wow.” I said simply.

                “Is it you, do you think?” The sales lady asked.

                “I think so. What else did you find?”

                She held up the second article. On the second hanger was a cute blue and white pinstriped crop top with a plunging neckline. It was sleeveless and would work wonderfully with the pants. I had found my outfit. I quickly thanked the lady for her help and paid for the outfit. On the way home I stopped at another boutique and picked up a pair of black lace up heels to go with everything.  I was ready for the date clothing wise, but mentally, I still wasn’t entirely sure.