You Learn Something New Everyday

Totally Rational

  How hard is it to catch a spoon that someone is trying to keep away from you? They are not hiding it or forcing you back. They are merely zigzagging it in front of your eyes. And you can't catch it, even though it seems very much like he's going at a pretty normal speed. And you know, it's funny, you're pretty rational. You didn't think you would be rational, you didn't think it would be anything like that but it was. And in your state of still rational thoughts, you wonder, Is he trying to see how high I am? Because I don't feel that high but I can't get the damn spoon, give me the fucking spoon.
     Being high is great. I didn't laugh as much as everyone else, I don't think, except for Dylan. He didn't seem to be very high. At some point I got up and started walking in a straight line and I couldn't do it. I started laughing really hard, and almost cried. My eyes started watering with tears, for real. This is something I thought I would never get the confidence to do. It was something I always wanted to experience. But something I thought I'd be too scared or felt was too wrong to do. I hate smoking, I never want to do it. Which I guess makes it really convenient that they had a bong. You inhale smoke but it's not like a cigarette. Don't get me wrong, you will cough and there will be some burning pain in your throat but not enough to make it not worth it. Not even close.
     They gave me a cup of water, and a container to spit in. The water is for your throat. The spitting is for the intense feeling of ash and smoke in your mouth that you have to get rid of. Or something. Sometimes you just need to spit. Alston gave me the container to spit in, Dylan gave me his cup. Which I later spilled when I was high. Which, by the way, I have no recollection of spilling and have no idea when, exactly, I did it. It's strange, really, because I feel mostly fine. Like I'm totally normal and functioning properly and everything. But I guess maybe that's just because I can't see what I look like from the outside. When I was in the barn my second time getting high, Nate walked in and he was constantly giving me funny looks, "Are you okay?"
     To which my brother whispered, "She's high."
     And I let him answer for me, going back to whatever it was, exactly, I was doing.
~~~~~ O ~~~~~
     You learn something new everyday.

...I miss Dylan.