The Mom I Never Had

Hi. My name is Rayleigh Gonzalez.   I was born September 20th 1997. From the time my mom got pregnant, she hated me.  I knew she hated me because as I soon as I was born, I was shipped off to the orphanage.  I didn't even have a name. She  hated me so much, they never thought of a name for me. I was at the orphanage until I was 8 years old. Then one day a very nice couple adopted me. But they gave me back before I was even 10 years old. I loved them as if they were my actual parents. I thought they loved me. But then they had another child and they no longer needed me. They had a boy and they named him Noah. I was only around Noah for a short period of time. 

I hated the orphanage. I hated it more than I hated both sets of my parents. I got picked on, I always had the hard chores, I got smacked around... I was a victim of bullying. I was practically a moving target.  By the time I was 16, I still lived there. One day I decided to run away. I knew nobody cared about me. So I ran far, far away. I never looked back either. I knew I had no place to go and I knew I never wanted to see that orphanage again. I walked all around this new town, thinking of a way to be okay again. Then, it hit me. I caught a glimpse of a sign saying ''help wanted.'' I was of age to work there. I also knew how to be a waitress. I mean, living at a orphanage for so long, you pick up on things. So I applied and I got the job very quickly. I was still homeless and I hoped nobody would find out. It was a couple months until someone did find out. 

I always slept between the buildings in an alley way. My boss, Lucy walked out one day, and found me. She asked no questions, as if she knew what was going on. She said ''Hun, it's gonna rain, come stay with me for the night.'' I wasn't going to refuse. I didn't wanna get fired and I sure in the hell didn't wanna start trouble. Before going to bed, on her couch. She said ''I know about you. I know you ran away..And I just want you to know, my couch is free, until you get on your feet.'' I didn't know how she know. I also didn't care. I knew I couldn't keep a secret, as big as this, to myself forever. Right? 

So every night, I went to work and got a ride from Lucy back to her house. I only stayed with her for about 3 months. I was saving up my pay checks, and all of my tips. By the time the 4th month came, I had my own apartment. It was nicer than the alley way but lonelier than sleeping on the couch. I didn't wanna sleep alone! I was scared to be on my own for the first time. I didn't wanna be alone for the rest of my life. Knowing, someone out there is feeling the same way as me. I paid my bills every month... I also saved at least $40.00 a month for an emergency fund. 

I was then called into work for an important meeting with Lucy. When I got there Lucy said we had a new waitress, and she needed help getting on her feet. Her name was Sami and she was just a little younger than me. I had a guest room in my apartment. I decided I should pay it forward like Lucy did for me. Sami paid half of the rent and she cooked supper 3/7 days. I found my best friend(: She worked with me, and then came home with me. It was what I always wanted, a roommate who did her share.  Sami came to be my other half. We never fought and we always spent every day with each other. 

When we were off work, we went to the beach, or stayed inside and played video games. We never asked each other about our past. We never thought it was an important thing. We were friends without knowing our stories. She never talked about her mom. I never talked about mine.  It was a mutual thing. It's like we didn't even care.. But deep down, I cared.. I wanted to know.. I had to find out. 

So the next day at work, I asked Lucy about her. She said her mom gave her up the day she was born and sent her into an orphanage. It seemed really familiar. It was almost exactly like my story. We had a connection, but I didn't know what sort... YET. 

The next night, I told her I know about what happened, and she took it very lightly. She said I could of just asked. But it didn't seem mandatory at the time. But now it was. Sami and I are too alike. We like the same things, we have the same story... Something is not right. I mean cmon.. We even look like each other.