A/N this takes place while
Zayn was taking his break
during the tour
________________________________
Zayn is looking for some extra moolah. He sees an advertisement looking for someone to portray Santa Claus at the mall before the Christmas season starts. He applied for the job, and of course got it because he is Zayn Malik.
Today is his first day. He is fiddling with his fingers when notices four little elves walk out in tight little green costumes with bells on their pointed hats. They aren't facing him, but he saw luscious, chestnut curls and realized it was Harry! There's a shorter man next to him with just as many tattoos, curling his arms around the long-haired giant.
Zayn shouts,"MY BOYS," as the four elves turn around and at first don't recognize him.
But then Louis says,"AYY, ZAYN! HOW'S YOUR BREAK GOING?"
The manager then comes over and says,"It's time to start."
Zayn sits on his throne. A woman, who appears to be Mrs. Claus, sits in a chair near him. She has big eyes and plump lips and beautiful...
He then realizes he needs to focus on this job. As the gates open, he hears children screaming and cheering because they see Santa right in front of them.
The first child walks in and sits on his lap. He asks the little girl what she would like him to bring her for Christmas, and she obviously wants a pony.
The second child is a little blonde boy. Zayn picks him up and sets him down on his lap. The boy, without being asked, says,"I WANT A MONSTER TRUCK!" Zayn says he think he can work something out.
The third child is a baby. The baby's mother puts it on his lap, and takes a picture. She then takes her baby and leaves.
The fourth.. child??... is nowhere near a child. He looks like he could be a 36 year old greasy chicken nugget. Zayn asks for his name.
"My friends call me Naughty Boy, and this Christmas I need someone new to leak on soundcloud."
The grease trap proceeds to sit on Zayn's lap, and before Zayn can say his final goodbyes, he is swiftly engulfed into Naughty Boy's butt cheeks.
Zayn was never heard from again. That is why he quit One Direction.
