What's Best For You (Urban Fiction)

ONE | Breakdown

July 20th

Can I call you?

I knew it was all downhill from then. I could no longer hold back the tears. How could I not see this coming? How could I not know he was unhappy? Why now? Why us? Why am I so stupid? I had given two years of my life to him, and he was ready to walk away from me for the second time. I did nothing to deserve it but yet it seemed so effortless for him. My phone rang and my heart sank. This was really happening.

"Hello?" I said shakily through tears and sniffles.

"Hello?... How are you bae?" He asked as if I would say I was perfectly fine. We had been going back and forth for the past 30 minutes about why he was unhappy, as a person. He even began to end it through text but I guess that would be too wrong of him so he asked to call. I should've ignored him. I should've turned my phone off and never responded. I should've said 'no Derek, it can wait until tomorrow, sleep on it'.. but I didn't. He sighed. "Baby look.. I'm sorry, but we both know I'm not happy, as a person in my life, it has nothing to do with you.." He went on and on about how he didn't want to hurt me but had to do this to better himself. He started to apologize but I cut him off.

"No Derek, I don't want your apology.."

"Ok but-"

"I did nothing but support you, love you, stand by you, give you all of me. Held things in that I shouldn't have, done things for you I never would've done, but I did them because I love you." I broke down, I had reached a breaking point. This would be the second time Derek has walked out on me, for the same damn reason. The thoughts of what he did before when we broken up, only made me cry harder. I was losing the best piece of me. I felt myself dying on the inside. My heart had been ripped out of my chest and torn into pieces by someone I thought loved me.

"Its not you Anna, it's not. You did nothing wrong, you deserve better. I need to be a man, I need to do it on my own. Some things you just have to do on your own."

I sat there silently. Just hearing him say my name hurt. Everything he did hurt. Everything I did hurt, because I once did it with him. After listening to him tell me how much it would hurt him to go through this next phase of life separated, I couldn't do it anymore.

"Goodbye Derek"

"See you later Anna" and with that, our relationship was forever tarnished.

I sat in my room crying my eyes out thinking of all the moments we shared, and how easy he would make it seem to be without me. He was a boy, boys knew how to make girls feel like they meant nothing without even knowing it. That's exactly how I felt. Like nothing. Gathering my thoughts and wiping my tears I took off my promise ring he had given me for my 16th birthday. That only sparked more tears, everything reminded me of him. Every little thing. My mom came in my room speaking of the plans Derek and I had tomorrow and instantly switched demeanors when she saw my face.

"Boo what's wrong?" She stood at the edge of my bed.

I mustered up enough courage to say "Derek and I just got off the phone.." before breaking into tears again. She already knew it had to be bad.

"You two broke up..?"

It wasn't that hard to guess. My heart was heavy and I had always worn my emotions on my sleeve. This was just a pain I couldn't hide. Her phone began to rang and she reluctantly looked at it.

"I want to be alone, go ahead and get it"

"You need me, call me. Okay?"

I nodded as she exited my room, shutting the door behind her. I sat there silent for a while, holding my knees and looking around my room. This hurt so bad, it was a pain like never before. In my head, his voice kept playing over and over again, of one of the best moments in our relationship.

"Anastasia come on baby" Derek called after me.

"Awww that's so cute" Jessica said. We both laughed, Derek brought me in for a hug and a tender kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and fell into his trance. He smelt like heaven, and looked like everything I had ever wanted in life.

"I love you Derek"

"I love you too baby" we continued our love fest while Jessica and her boo did their own thing.

We had all spent that whole afternoon together waiting for our performance with the school choir that night. We laughed, talked, and loved. We loved hard.

I finally climbed out of my bed and made my way over to my dresser, placing my ring in the ring box it originally came in. I reached inside of my closet and pulled down my memory box which was full of things from middle school, and milestones in my life, things I would never want to forget. I placed the ring inside, and the tee shirts we had that matched. I couldn't stand to look at them let alone wear them. I looked to my bed which was covered in stuffed animals, ones that he had given me.

"Derek I want this one"

"What are you gonna do with that big ass bear?"

"It'll keep me company when you're not there"

"Only person who needs to keep you company is me" we both laughed as he pulled me in from behind and kissed my cheek. We walked through the mall, shopping around for little things to get each other for valentines day.

Once the day finally arrived, I went to pick him up for our night out and to my surprise, there was the bear. He was perfect and I loved him because I had gotten him from Derek.

I piled all of our memories into a box, every picture that hung in my room, even the perfumes he loved that I wore. It all had to go.

After showering and returning to my half empty room. I still sat there baffled as to what had occurred over the past two hours. I was just telling Jessica of how in love I was, and how I couldn't wait to be in his arms again. Now I was lying in a puddle of my own tears, wishing he would come back and say it was all a mistake, he didn't mean it.

I hurt. I cried. I screamed. I could not understand how my world had been snatched away so quickly. I could not understand how I could be so oblivious to the truth. My phone would no longer light up that special color when he text me, and read his name. My phone no longer had us as the screensaver. The last thing to do was delete the pictures on social media and change my bio.

"Anastasia come on baby" His voice rang through every thought that I had, only breaking me down even more by the second.

Flipping through my apps, I finally came across Instagram. I went to my account and deleted all 20 pictures, then went in and deleted him out of the About Me tab. I couldn't just let it go though, I had to see his. I went to his profile and saw that he had changed his name, deleted my two pictures, and posted a picture with another female. Fast wasn't even the word to describe it. I didn't even read the caption. I didn't need to, it was the fact that he did it all so quickly that hurt. The fact that I would beg him to post pictures of us on social media, and he never would. His answer was always "I don't post like that". Yet today, he posted. How ironic. I was sad, bitter, angry, hurt, hateful, annoyed. I felt betrayed, unloved, like a waste, like a toy. I felt like that girl. That broken hearted girl. I sulked in it, there was no denying it that I was indeed heartbroken. Regardless of his reasoning, all that mattered was that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I sat at my window, watching the rain as it fell. My tears soon led my eyes into a night of uneven slumber.

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