What's Best For You (Urban Fiction)

SEVEN | Old Flame

"Babies? Yes! I need at least one grandbaby before I'm taken off of this earth" my mother jumped for joy as I explained the night before to her. "Marcus is fine as hell too boo, y'all would make some wonderful babies."

"Mommy, I said maybe. It'll happen when it happens." I insisted that she drop the subject but she was more than excited to hear about the possibility. I understood I was the baby of the family and having a child would be exciting but I had enough baby talk last night at dinner with my family that hadn't met Marcus. He was most excited about it and it baffled me. He was 25, and had a full NBA career ahead of him yet the most exciting thing to him right now was this marriage and the possibility of a baby. It warmed my heart how much he loved me.

"Well where is he anyway? I liked talking to him" she asked.

"He went to train with the Wizards today, he went to college with some of the players on the team so they'll do some catching up today. I'll meet them tonight when we go out." I explained.

"Oh well alright baby.. you don't look like you plan on doing anything else today" she joked at my outfit. I had on some sweats, my A&T Alumni shirt, roshe runs, and my hair was in a high bun on the top of my head.

"I don't know mommy, I woke up this morning feeling a little sick, like a stomach bug or something, we ate Ben's Chilli Bowl last night and you never it never really sits right with me." We continued talking as time passed before Derek made his presence known once again. The room grew eerily quiet as he entered. I ignored him, waiting for him to leave. The idea of him checking on my mom while I was in Atlanta made me happy. She had someone else coming to be here for her, that's what mattered.

"Y'all two go get some coffee or something, I need a nap" my mom spoke.

"Oh mommy I can come back later"

"No Anna. Go get some damn coffee!" she yelled at me.

"Fine then" I said, laughing at her attitude and heading for the door. We walked in silence. Derek seemed to be staring at me but didn't want me to notice. Stepping on the elevator, I began scrolling on my phone.

"H-How've you been?"

"Fine"

"How's the job?"
"Good"

"When's the wedding?"

"Tuesday" I ended the conversation finally stepping off the elevator and heading for the lobby where the coffee stand was. I left him behind in awe. The wedding must've been sooner than he believed it to be.

We stood in line awkwardly waiting. "So Tuesday huh?.. that's pretty soon"

"Been planning for months" I said nonchalantly.

"How long have you been with him?"

"Two years"

He laughed to himself "and you think you love him?"

"I know I'm in love with him" we both grabbed the coffees and sat in the lobby at a small round table by the windows. It was pouring raining and I loved it. I missed Maryland weather. It was so unpredictable. He took note of my smile.

"Still love the rain don't you?"

"Of course I do.. it soothes me. It's been there for me more than alot of people have" I responded. He grew quiet. I couldn't help the fact that I did still have feelings for him in my heart. I wanted to know how he was, make sure he was happy. I wasn't a bitch, I was just scorned. "Hows the wife?"

He laughed sarcastically. "I'm single"

I looked surprised. "That's weird.. last time we spoke, you were telling me good riddance and planning on walking down the aisle."

"Things change" he said bitterly before sipping his coffee.

"Well I'm all ears." I sat back in the chair and looked to him, waiting to hear how perfectly his life had panned out.

"I was uh.. the day before when I found you and came to talk to you, I had planned on making us work.. me and you, like I always planned, I was hoping to get back together.. start on the road to the life we always wanted.. then I went home and got a phone call. A girl I had been seeing in Maryland before I moved was pregnant, and it was a great possibility it was mine.. I was damn sure it was mine. So the next day instead of standing you up, I came and told you I was getting married because that was the right thing to do, you know how my family is.. marriage first, children after.. so after that I flew back home to Maryland, to be with her, make my family work.. we did get married and once the baby was born I felt happiness. It was a boy, Jeremiah.." he smiled thinking of the boy. I knew the child meant a lot to him, just by that smile. "Jeremiah got sick and needed a blood transfusion and my wife wasn't in town, away on business.. so I volunteered, of course, it's my child.. and then they came and said 'Mr. Duncan, we're sorry to inform you that your blood is not a match' so naturally I think okay well he has his mom's blood more than mine, but that was just my mind trying to save me some hurt... I wasn't Jeremiah's dad, and come to find out, Helena still doesn't know who is father was.."

"Was?"

"Jeremiah died about a year ago, the cancer he had grew after he didn't receive the transfusion" Derek sat there quietly. He wiped the tear from his eye. I reached for Derek's hand.

"I am so sorry" I looked at him with concerned eyes, he was truly hurting. Derek had been through it for the past two years. If I only knew. We sat there silently for a while.

"Truth is, I never loved Helena. I told myself I did because it was the right thing to do, but honestly I didn't. I cared about her but she was never a woman I wanted to spend my life with.. you were." He caught my attention immediately.

"Derek-"

"Anastasia I have loved you since 7th grade. You were my best damn friend. We talked about everything. You were everything to me, and then we made it more because that's what we were meant to be but I had to let go.."

"You didn't have to do anything Derek, we were fine. You were fine as the man you were"

"No I wasn't Anna, Derek back then wasn't a man. I was a boy, trying to figure out who the hell I was. You know all that shit I had going on with my family, I wasn't happy."

"But you were happy with me! I was happy with you. We were each other's happy place and you ripped that shit away like it was nothing!" I felt myself emerging into the Anna from when I was 17 and heartbroken.

"Anna you'll never understand how hard it was for me to do that shit. I missed you every damn day. I wanted to be with you Anastasia, I did, but I had to make the sacrifice to get myself to where I am."

I looked away from him annoyed. This was the same bullshit he fed me two years ago. "Well I'm glad you're where you want to be Derek" I spoke with an attitude.

"That's the thing Anna, I'm not.. I'm not where I want to be in life because I don't have you. You made me complete Anastasia and I miss it. I miss you."

"Derek I'm not the same girl I was at 17.. I'm not the same Anastasia who would hear you speak a few smooth words and fall back in your trap. I'm a grown ass woman who finally moved on from you and am happy. I am happy Derek and I will not let you be the reason I am setback!" I stormed out of the lobby and back to my mother's room. Standing on the elevator alone, I felt my stomach churning as my eyes burned with tears. I exited the elevator and ran to the women's bathroom throwing up the inner lining of my stomach. I needed rest, Maryland was too much for me right now.

***

COMMENT & VOTE