Life Story Untold.

REALIZING LIFE

On the drive back my dad and i usually sing whatever came on the radio.

BUT THIS DAY THERE WAS A WHOLE 12 HRS OF SILENCE....

When we got back home my step mom looked at me and instantly noticed something was wrong with me.
"Hey baby what's wrong with you why are you acting like that?"

"I don't know what your talking about." I say as i try to scurry off  as fast as my little legs could carry me. 
But as much as i would like to say i got away from her.....But i didn't so here's what happened.

            She picked me up and carried me off to the bathroom and sat me on the toilet. I'd had a pretty violent streak with her. It just felt so right! So she made me promise i wouldn't hurt her, so of course i lied and said "No mommie I won't I love you."  So as soon as she stood up i kicked her in her shins and ran.  As a kid i never really liked anyone. Especially my step mom. I hated her with a burning passion. Whenever I looked at her, you know that feeling that you get when you breathe water in your nose, I got that feeling when I looked at her. So I began running down the hallway. I began screaming BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, I can't hear you WhitchLady! And I'm not trying to either! Suddenly, she fell to the floor and began to cry. "What did I ever do to you? You've hated me from the start!" "Where did I go wrong." "When you were a baby, you used to love being with me." "And now it's like you can't stand being around me!" "What did I do to you?!" "It's like you don't even want me and your father to get married." "Like you don't even want me in your life."

                    "It's not that I don't want you in my life it's just....well it feels like you've been trying to steal my daddy from me and I don't like it." "It feels like, I'm drowning in this world of sadness,grief and sorrow." She covered her mouth and said; Honey, I'm so sorry to see that you feel that way, but its not all easy for me either." "Really? " I replied in anger and confusion. "Because, my definition of easy isn't my life you don't even know what I went through and is still going through!" "You got life easy, you live with this amazing guy who just so happens to be my father, who also just so happens to want to marry you and you don't even love me, and all I am to you is irrelevant and in the way!" "I really don't feel like this about you and marriage is not as easy as it seems, so if you really feel that way then you shouldn't have kept that bottled up inside of you." "Can I ask you something, when you said you go through a lot of stuff what did you mean?" She asked "I'd rather not talk about it." I said. "I wanna take my bubble bath alone today, it's not you its just I wanna learn how to be independent, like Oprah Wittney"
"Don't you mean Oprah Winfrey?"
Aggravated I replied sassily saying "since you knew what I was saying then why didn't you just keep the peace and smile and walk away."

  ************************************************************************************************
                                                                  *Later that day*
                 We were eating dinner and my father had gotten a call from the police, regarding my grandfather previously known by me as "The Doctor." 
          Hello, it's 911. We just got a call in about your father. I'm sorry to inform you that he's dead.

My father stood up in awe, confusion,anger and frustration all in a mix. "What,do you mean he's dead?"

''He was stabbed several times, and in addition to that,it appears an extremely large dog has gotten to him if the stab wounds didn't kill him the bites from the beast would have. We need your permission to run some tests on your fathers wounds."

 There was a long moment of silence. And all of a sudden, my father dropped to his knees.  And began to cry. "Is that all you called to ask me!?!"  "If you could run tests on my father, are you not concerned about my fathers death we need to find out who did this." "I'm sorry, I'm not in control of that, but here's what I can do for you, hold for just one minute please." My fathers face finally expresses some since of hope.
    He finally sits down and tries to relax. He then looks around the table at everyones expression. He sees his wife, with tears in her eyes trying hard not to let a single one drop.Then he looks at me, his daughter, just eating not showing a single emotional look or tear on my face....his excuse, I'm too young to understand. But the fact is that my body and my mind are 2 different things. One controls your appearance and one changes  the size of your body.
         **3 DAYS BEFORE**
Me and my father were at Rouge Park, inside the woods having a picnic. "Hey, honey I'm going to the car real quick, I'll be right back okay sweetie." "Stay right here, okay Daddy. I watched as my father had walked away. I then walked over to his backpack and began to look through all his stuff. I found his lighter fluid for the campfire, and his lighters I poured a little bit of lighter fluid on the ground around me in a circle. I took the lighter and lit it. The Instant I put the lighter to the gasoline the fire lit! I flinched back away from the fire it wasn't really high so I began to jump in and out of the circle. I liked being inside the circle because it made me feel all warm inside.  Me being a kid and not being afraid of much I finally.