(Dedicated to all my co-Ashboos) Short story.
"So this is it? This is how far as we can go..." Nakapikit si Bamboo habang nakasandal sa pader, tinatakpan ang mukha gamit ang kanyang kaliwang kamay. At yung isa'y nakahawak sa may braso ni Sarah. Desperately, he doesn't let her go. If he let go, it would really be over.
Hindi niya kakayaning titigan na lamang ang likod ni Sarah habang ito'y naglalakad papalayo sa kanya. Kaya hindi siya bibitaw.
They still have a chance. Or so he believes.
Kasi parang siya na lang itong kumakapit. Like he's hanging by a thread; while she's holding the scissors, trying to completely cut him off from her life.
"Why are you hurting me, Sarah?" His voice breaks. She inhaled deeply. Nadudurog ang puso niya sa sakit na nararamdaman. At sa sakit na ipinaparanas niya kay Bamboo. But she knows it would be for the best. Walang patutunguhan ang relasyon na ito. Nagsimula kasi ng mali eh. Lahat mali. Kaya itinatama na niya habang maaga pa.
"Hindi lang naman ikaw ang nasasaktan. Ako rin. Masakit para sakin ito. Kaya lang mali..." She paused for a while. Nagpipigil ng luha.
"Anong mali? Saan yung mali? Us?" He pulled her closer to him. Hindi tumitingin si Sarah sa mga mata ni Bamboo kahit anong pilit niyang gawin. "Look at me. Tell me, wala naman mali sa ginagawa natin di ba? I love you. And you love me, too. So what's wrong with that? Anong mali sa atin?"
Her eyes are on his. Tumutulo ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. "May boyfriend ako, may asawa ka... how can you tell me na walang mali sa atin. Gumising ka sa realidad, Bamboo. Tama na."
"I want to be with you."
"You want to be with me? Then dapat itinama mo na nung una pa lang! Dapat matagal mo na siyang hiniwalayan."
He put his hands on her shoulders, and pushed her against the wall - caging her. Then he presses his body against hers. "Pero bakit kayo ni Matteo, why are you still together? Pwede mo rin siyang hiwalayan, but you didn't."
"Ayaw ko lang siyang saktan."
"But it's okay to hurt me instead?"
"Kaya nga tinatapos ko na di ba?"
"Damn it! Am I nothing to you? Laruan mo lang ba ako?"
She can feel the way his chest heaves. "Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo? Tama na, please."
"You know how hard I tried to stay away from you. I tried to stay away because I was starting to like you... a lot. I may have loved you ever since. But I told myself that I shouldn't. I couldn't. But every single time, you would give me reasons to love you even more. You gave me reasons to fight for this... you told me you love me." His voice is laced with desperation. Bakas ang pagmamakaawa sa kanyang mukha.
Nakatingin sa malayo si Sarah habang nagsasalita, "Siguro nga sinabi ko yun, pero hindi man lang ba sumagi sa isip mo na baka nagsinungaling lang ako? Baka nadala lang ako sa sitwasyon?"
"You're lying." Nakakasiguro niyang sabi. Kilala niya si Sarah, alam niya kung paano ang takbo ng pag-iisip nito. Alam niya kung paano ito magsinungaling, and right now, she's clearly lying.
"I'm not." She firmly said.
He huffed in irritation. "Say it to my face then. Tell me that you don't love me and make me believe it."
Tumingin si Sarah sa kanya ng diretso. Nakakunot ang noo. Namumugto ang mga mata. "Hindi kita mahal." Sinabi niya ng walang kahirap-hirap. Halos sumabog ang dibdib ni Bamboo. Hindi niya akalain na kayang gawin ito ni Sarah sa kanya.
Magkahalong sakit at galit ang kanyang nadarama. Sobrang sakit.
"Hindi kita mahal. Hindi kita minahal. At kahit kailan hindi kita kayang mahalin. Kaya pwede ba, lumayo ka na sa akin. At wag na wag ka ng lalapit pa. Act as if you don't know me. Hindi kita minahal kaya please... let go of me!"
"Really, hindi mo talaga ako mahal? Then prove it." He said then roughly crashes his lips against her mouth.
Nagpupumiglas si Sarah. His kiss is too demanding, too rough. She could taste blood on her tongue. Tinutulak niya si Bamboo papalayo but he's much stronger than her.
Oh, how she missed the taste of his mouth.
Eventually, she began kissing him back. She responded with equal fervor. And so they kiss like they've never kissed before. They kiss their lives depended on it. She loves him... and she can't deny it anymore.
She cried for him when he suddenly pulled out from their kiss.
"You don't love me..." he remarked sarcastically. "Okay... you really don't." He let her go. Then he started walking backwards, still looking at her.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"Leaving you. That's what you want, right?"
She forced herself to nod, convincing herself yet again that this is what she wants. That this would be for the best.
He walks slowly in little steps. He's waiting for her. Naghihintay siya na pigilan ni Sarah. 'On five counts' He told himself. Please.
One.
Two.
He laughed inwardly. Umaasa pa rin siya when clearly isinusuka na siya ni Sarah.
Three.
"Ayoko na. I can't take a chance with someone who wouldn't even make me a choice." He said softly. Pero bawat salita tila humihiwa sa puso ni Sarah.
And he ran away. Mabilis. Wala ng atrasan. Hindi lumilingon, diretso lang ang tingin. Malabo ang dinaraanan. Umaagos ang kanyang luha. And in spite of all the pain, her face is still all that he can see.
Four.
Sarah knelt down on the floor, seemingly trying to pick up the fragments of her broken heart. Her cries echoed on the dark lit room.
I let you go, not because I'm giving you up. But rather, I just accepted the fact that there are thing that can not be.
And they're over.
