The Clever One

A.S.P.D

[Seph]

It's official, I guess. I have a monthly therapist. I don't really know why. Nobody has ever recommended that I need a therapist or that it's best to have one, I just sort of got one. I think I just got lonely and didn't want to depend on Adante for dropping my problems on. So why not drop them on someone professional and who has a PhD in Psychology? My therapist is named Valerie and she has a big golden retriever as a "Therapy Dog". When I was younger I always hated pets and the thought of ever having pets so you can imagine my thoughts when I entered the room and there was a big dog on the couch. But my first appointment with just me and Valerie felt so empty. So, I asked if she could bring the dog back with us during sessions. The dogs name is Nomino and I don't actually know why. I guess I never asked. All of our sessions have been pretty okay until yesterday when Val basically confirmed I'm too alone. I tried to laugh when she said that, thinking it was joke until I realized she was being serious. Then I went to what one would call: denial. But I like being alone. I like not having to worry about other people and focus on myself. As I was trying to convince her that I was fine being alone she cleared her voice and started jabbering about A.S.P.D. It stands for: Antisocial Personality Disorder.

To be honest, I never even knew that was a thing. After she named it she began listing what causes it and why it is bad. Then she asked me the last time I ever spoke to someone outside of family. "I'm talking to you", I say trying to smile. She raises her eyebrows. Val must not be kidding, so I say that the last person I had a real conversation with was Adante. "And how long ago was that?" She asks in a too-calm manner. I take a deep breath and say, "2 weeks." She writes something down and continues, "And before that?" I look at Nomino, "Three months", I admit. I could see Valerie look up at me out of the corner of my eye. "Stephire, that's not looking good. You need to go out more. Make friends. Trust me, it's a lot easier nowadays. All you need is a grand entrance line with someone and you're good to go." I look around the room, and think of what I could say to get her off the topic of making friends. My mind flashes back to a similar talk I had with my mom the day before freshman year of high school. I'm so glad I'm not in high school. But I wish I still had my mom. Maybe with her still here, I wouldn't be the way I am. Maybe I wouldn't be so lonely. "Are you listening, Steph? I'm trying to help you." I snap back into the reality of being in a room with a lady I don't want to talk to anymore, and a dog who knows nothing outside of this building. "Yeah, I know. Hey look, I'd love to stay and listen to you go on about APSD--", Val then corrects me and says, "It's A.S.P.D, Stephire." But before I can say anything else I'm turning the nob and walking out, trying to ignore her trying to get me to come back and the dog barking from my sudden release.

I start running when I see my car, and as I unlock the door, I see Valerie opening the door still trying to get me back inside. I shake my head, start the engine, and drive off. I come home, change into home clothes, make dinner, read a book, and try to go to sleep. Adante said he'd be here by tonight, but he's been late so many times, I learned to know better. All I can do is hope he's alright and be here by tomorrow night.

I wake up to a loud thudding sound. I look at my clock and it's 2:56 am. I realize that someone is knocking at my door. I walk out of my room, but I don't turn any lights on. It could be Adante at my door but it could also be someone else. I look through the window and there he is. Adante. He looks older then I remember, taller, and tired. I open my door, "Seph. I'm so sorry I came really late but things happened and I was stalled-" I roll my eyes jokingly, "Shut up and get in, it's freezing out there." He smiles and stumbles inside. I lock the door, and turn on the light. When I turn to face him, I notice something else.

His shirt and hands are covered in blood.