Stargate Universe | Eli Ascending

4.

Colonel Young took a long drag from the beaker and let the alcohol burn his mouth, throat as he prepared for sleep. Sleep he didn't want to come and desperately needed. As his head hit the pillow, his eyes closed, he was almost immediately asleep and in the impossible dark that exists between sleep and dreams. He knew what was next. 

And he was standing on the bridge listening to Brody and Volker telling him what was happening. The aliens had returned. They were surrounding the ship. There were eight of them. There would be more. The shields wouldn't work. The guns wouldn't work. He was stuck in an impossible situation and every aspect of the situation ended in the Destiny exploding and everyone aboard dead. 

Then he was awake and drinking. The alcohol once again burning as it went down. 

He turned to look at what woke him. His radio was making noise. Someone wanted something from him. Someone who had been dead seconds before and was now alive, again. The nightmares were getting harder to ignore, harder to operate around. 

Responding to the call, he dressed and didn't bother to shave or do anything to clean up. His hair was a mess and he needed to bathe. Neither of which mattered. Not when it came to the lives of his crew, the future of Destiny. 

Colonel Young stood behind Brody and Volker, Eli was there. Rush wasn't. His dreams always had Rush in them yelling and arguing. Now, he was gone. This wasn't a dream. At least, he hoped it wasn't one. 

His mind was hazy, not quite with it. The alcohol was doing its job. Still, the reality of Destiny and the distance from home was working against him. Especially given his relationship with his wife, the Lucian Alliance, the number of the crew who'd died or been left behind. Everything was falling apart and he had no control, nothing beyond sheer willpower and his military training. 

Being in command of a starship was also new. There was no formal training. Not from Stargate command. Not from the Air Force or anyone else. The men and women, like Colonel Carter, who were out there pioneering a whole new form of command were the only people he could look to for advice, and they weren't available. Which meant he was making it up. Completely and totally making it up. 

Which meant the dreams, the loss of life, the battles and tactics were all made up on the fly. He wasn't ready for this and he had no choice. Fake it or make it. The Air Force Academy hadn't taught him to fake it, yet that was one of the many realities of being an officer in the military. An officer with decades of experience and a crew who didn't make the choice to be where they were. 

As he watched, his mind somewhere other than the bridge, he heard himself ordering people to work on the firing systems and shields and to ignore the work on hydroponics and food, the search of the ship. There was something wrong both inside himself and outside that screamed to give up and let go, allow Rush or someone else to take charge. He needed to be done. That wasn't enough. He could fight through this. 

Then Destiny leapt back into FTL and the dreams were over. The aliens from the other galaxy hadn't found them and Destiny had made its decision. 

***

The Ancient being had ignored Eli's questions and explained to him that the crew had been scanned, everyone had been tested and checked, and he, Eli, was the only one who was deemed capable and ready. "You are needed," the Ancient said. 

What Eli noticed about the compartment was the doors were still closed, the stasis pods were still open, and one was now completely empty and clean, practically new with not even a speck of dust as evidence of someone having been in there. 

"What happened to that one?" 

"He left," the Ancient said. "That one is for you." 

"Uh, thanks. I'm not sure I want it. But thank you."