I Can Change Yours

You stand there with tears in your eyes, seeing an old friend before you. You cringe every time he says you'll be alright, because you know you won't.

It's the year 2053, the apocalypse has devastated the world, your world. Many of your family is dead but you stayed strong for them, until now. You have tried so hard to keep your little brother safe, but this morning he died, and you blame yourself.

You dig a grave by hand taking most of the day, trying to throw away the past like the dirt behind you. You say your final good-bye as you set him in the cold ground, holding back as many tears as you can manage. You turn to find your friend waiting for you to finish.

"I can't anymore..." you begin to say, but the tears escape your hold, and you can't stop them. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, hoping to wake up, and all of this be a dream.

"What do you mean?" he questions, walking closer to you.

You don't know how to answer without breaking down inside. You simply reply "Never mind..." and turn to walk away.

"No. I want to help you." His words stop you in your tracks. "Tell me what's going on."

You turn to look at his eyes. Blue, you always liked them.

"It's nothing, really."

'He can't help you.' you tell yourself trying to numb the pain. You nod your head, trusting these words, and continue walking.

"Hey-" he says as he grabs your arm. He realizes it was the wrong thing to do, so he lets go, and continues walking by your side.

"Do you remember when we used to walk to the lake?" He asks breaking the stinging silence. "I loved those summers."

You think back to five years ago, before any of this happened. You snap yourself out of these thoughts, knowing that would never happen again.

"Yeah. Things aren't like that anymore." You answer looking up into the heavens. Anger starts bubbling inside you, demanding to be known.

"Things haven't changed so much." he says with his hands in his pockets. He stares at the ground, kicking loose rocks as you walk side by side.

You can't take it anymore.

"Everything has changed!" you yell as birds flung themselves from the branches above your head; trying to get away from the explosion of emotions emerging from your empty heart. Pain, suffering, they all come down on you at once. The weight of the world unknowingly lies upon you.

"Nothing is the same anymore. And we are supposed to be okay with that, right?" You turn around to face him, regretting the movement right when it happened. You were face to face with the man who once made you smile. Now, the only emotion on his face was utter confusion.

You turn away, shaking your head, trying to calm yourself. You take a deep breath, wondering if you would be strong enough to release it again. You hold onto the bit of sanity you still have and continue your ramblings, hoping he could understand.

"Seasons change, people change..." You whisper just loud enough to hear. "Even you, you have changed!" you lose your self-control letting rage overtake you because it's easier to handle than the pain from within. You lose every bit of yourself that you still owned. Nothing mattered anymore.

My brother, my dad- and mom, she left me. They left me. Everyone has left me. Everything has changed. Not anymore. you think to yourself as you stomp past someone who used to be your strong hold, your only safe zone.

"Whoa," he says grabbing you gently. "What are you talking about?" You wrench your arm from his grasp as he continues. "Where is this coming from?"