Right This Way

Chapter 6: Kennedy

Kennedy

I stare at the note in my hand with the discussion of Shakespeare in the background. There it is – that horrible feeling. The pit in my stomach. I begin to read – I have to stop myself. I found the note in my locker this morning. It is from my girlfriend, Dana, of two or so weeks (oh wait – information on the note indicates that it is our 2 week anniversary). Dana, a cheerleader and probably the prettiest girl I have ever seen is amazing. So, what's the pit for? I am not interested. I am certain I was clear about this – a friends with benefits situation – nothing more. As I read the heart shaped note in my hand – I know I have to end this – soon. I like Dana, I really do, but I don't want to hurt her – or anyone for that matter. To focus – oh, God wait – what is that smell? Yikes! The note is scented – I need to take care of this sooner than I thought – at lunch. To focus on a girl right now would be too much – it can't happen. I'll tell her it is all my fault. I am working through some things right now (a true statement). Maybe there could be something for us in the future. We'll see. Yes, that will be the approach – I can anticipate her questions and I know my responses – I've seen the play a dozen times.

The other things on my mind are like a cancer – they eat away at me little by little as I am not clear how long I can keep up the façade. It takes much of my energy and I can confide in no one – not even my best bro, Halan.

The teacher asks a question of Chase – an attempt to prove that he is not paying attention. Chase nails it – I open my book in an effort to appear focused. Chase is an idiot. He couldn't be more different than his twin brother, no one other than Halan. It's funny – not in the haha sort of way, but in the peculiar – the difficult to understand way. Chase never pays attention – but seems to always know the material – but also effectively and consistently gets bad grades. I don't get it – although I try.

Even though I open my book to look like I am paying attention (out of respect), it makes no difference. I know the material inside and out - I have a photographic memory. A freak of nature if you will. When I was a kid, I thought everyone had this. I could not understand why people had to read and re-read, study and memorize. It wasn't until I studied something in middle school with Halan that I realized I had a gift. It is my secret. My secret gift. It keeps me in with the Ivy Leaguers. Actually I practice lead them with little or no effort at all. I feel like I am cheating – but in the end I was born with an advantage. Lucky me. After others have advantages too, right? This is not something I will allow myself to feel guilty about. At the same time, I will not brag about it.

The concept of being an Ivy Leaguer – funny to me. Funny because when you peel away the layers of intelligence, designer clothes, and expensive hair cut and polished demeanor – there is no money. Yup. People use happenings in their life as points of reference. My latest point of reference is about a year and a half ago. It was at that time my father lost his job. It was at this time my father took up the sport of drinking. Every night it is fighting – each night worse than the night before. The screaming. The swearing. The hatred. I sit in my room with my Beats on – hoping no praying he won't come to bring me into the madness. God up until then we were the perfect family – at least on the outside. That's where it matters, isn't it? In about three months my parents will lose their house and I have no clue what happens after that – there isn't a lie big enough in North America that can cover up that, or the fact that my parents won't have the money to send me to school. The odd thing is, I don't hate them for it. I have complete empathy for my dad who has lost his job. In addition I understand my mom, a rich girl, from a rich family stuck – not knowing how to work or what to do. She tries to protect me – I am her pride and joy. I get all that. Where I fall short is the drinking. How does someone let that take over their life...and can't they see it? Every day the drinking starts earlier. Everyday the apologies start around the same time. I have zero respect for this behavior. Zero. So, as of about a year and a half ago, I have no respect for my father, no financial security and certainly no way of paying for college.

Most things I understand. I understand that Hal and Chase don't have the secret advantage that I do. But Hal works his butt off – knows what he wants, gets it – the guy gets straight A's, plays sports, participates in clubs (and makes it look easy – but I know how hard he works). Where a guy like Chase, is an idiot because he could work hard, but doesn't. He seems to almost always know the material and gets crappy grades. Dumb. That I don't understand.

Fact: Halan and I own the school. The laughable thing is that it is all attitude. We got into 9th grade and it was there for the taking. I walk through the halls, kids trying to get our attention. They think we are magic or something. I get it. Hal and I saw an opportunity and without even acknowledging it, without even talking about it, basically without even knowing it, we just took it. I get that other kids can't see that. What I don't get is the nervous girl who walks by me pretending not to look at me – her books cover her chest as she squeezes them. She looks scared – petrified –like if you touch her she will break, and to her it is a mystery why no one talks to her – geezzzzz. Or the tall thin geeky guy who wears his pants too big – who is always looking around, cautiously to see how people react to him – they both are uncomfortable in their own skin. Geez if you are not happy with yourself, well change it.

I don't get my parents anymore. And I don't get how I am going to pay for school. What am I going to do?

The bell rings. As I map out a different route to math – no sense in running into Dana earlier than I have to – I catch a glimpse of Halan. My new route takes me in a different direction as I avoid the...wait the second prettiest girl I have ever seen. The girl waling with Halan has just taken the first spot.

{A/N}

First off.

I'M SORRY I DISAPPERED OFF THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FOR LIKE 10,000 YEARS

sorry, okay?

forgive me.

don't judge.

sorry.

Second.

GUESS WHO'S BRINING THIS STORY BACK!!!!!

OHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH

PLEASE VOTE, COMMENT, AND FOLLOW!

-Jane

(Why is everything in caps? IDEK)