For The Women Who Are Hard To Love.

Adrenaline.

She had touched the hearts of many, and turned them all to stone. Her life in the rush frightened many, and tempted many more.. From their perspective, they saw that she was happy. But that one way mirror had them fooled if she'd ever seen it.
In love with adrenaline ..
It was the only love she was sure of.
Why can't he just enjoy the time we have? Because "nothing lasts forever". But what if the reason nothing lasts forever is because we spend forever wondering how long we've got? To him, she'd always seem so happy, but he knew she hated herself in the worst way. She felt for him so great that it'd hit her between 12 and 1am and she found herself lost without him. He'd question her about why she loved him so hard, so passionately.. He was so alien to the feeling. It was love that he felt not lust.. But he'd realize that long after their forever. She knew. That's why when she felt that adrenaline, her spine would tingle. That toe curling good. She knew this was a satisfaction she would not be able to treasure "forever". Adrenaline is not forever, and she was aware.. Which made the sensation irresistible. She was never fond of clichés but it was inevitable.. No words could ever begin to describe this feeling. Adrenaline. Short lived happiness, or eternal mediocracy? She'd "forever" be chastised for her obvious answer. "Why have happiness if it doesn't last? If it isn't forever?" She believed they where asking all the wrong questions. She often thought, "Why not be happy at all just because it isn't consistent? Why not cherish what little happiness you are given, than frown upon the happiness that isn't accessible to you? What even is happiness?" But for her, she knew her happiness. It was a joy that made it difficult for her to love. Her mindset was forever based on whatever made her happy, without considering other's happiness. Why is that wrong? Her restless soul deserved whatever it desired and if she was not acquiring her happiness where she was, she'd leave. But he wanted to have a future with her.. He planned their life together... He didn't comprehend the reality of their relationship. Why is he planning a forever when it does not last? Most would call that "Setting Yourself Up For Failure." She was too day-by-day to accommodate his infinite fantasies. He grew to hate her for her not living in his fantasy. She was not moved, because she had an understanding that his hopes only and would always lead to crushes dreams and disappointment. The trail of broken hearted she'd leave through the journey called life left her unapproachable. But that did not stop her from continuing that journey, for she was running off an adrenaline that almost seemed forever.