Mind Over Matter ~ Lilo Family

1. A Rut and a Wasteland

It was almost ten o'clock at night and the house was pretty silent, Niall had only left his room to grab a glass of water from the kitchen and in order to do that he had had to walk through the living room where Louis was sat watching a movie.

Liam had left for Cheshire earlier in the day, the funeral was tomorrow, not that he'd be attending, but he was to bring Harry home to them once they'd finished everything up.

Niall's once big empty room was now quite full, there was another chest of drawers next to his, another desk, and single bed in the corner. The movers had come by a couple of days ago to drop off a lot of Harry's things.

"Niall baby, can you come here a minute?" Louis called upon hearing the tap in the kitchen turning on.

Niall left his filled glass on the bench and wandered back into the living room, Louis was curled up on the couch, his legs pulled up beside him, he looked very rugged up in Liam's jumper, a pair of track pants and fluffy yellow bed socks. He looked much warmer than Niall who was only wearing a baggy shirt and his boxers, ready for bed.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting in the space where his father was patting next to him.

Louis reached out and pulled Niall into his side, causing the sixteen year old to sigh because this was so uncool. "How are you feeling about what's going on?"

Niall shrugged awkwardly against Louis, "I'm just annoyed I have to share my room."

Louis laughed softly, "It's only temporary, me and Pa have been searching for a new house big enough for the four of us."

Niall nodded again, and despite being totally embarrassed about cuddling with his father at sixteen, he nestled himself comfortably into Louis' side. "What's Harry like?"

"I've only spoken to him briefly, but he seems to be polite and respectful. Obviously brought up well." He sighed softly, not necessarily mad or fed up, just a sigh that Niall couldn't quite place.

"Are you sad you had to miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Miss watching your son growing up."

Louis sighed again, slightly dreamily this time, "It was really hard at first. We had you, this tiny little innocent baby and we wanted the best for you, we wanted you to grow up always having someone to play with when me and Papa were too busy. And when we heard we'd be having another son we were so, SO excited." Louis smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to the top of his son's head. "We got the call that she was in labour, and we tried to get there as fast as we could. We missed the actual birth but when we went into the hospital room she was sitting up in the bed holding his tiny little beautiful baby in her and arms. You weren't more than a year old, but I said to you 'Niall look, this is your new baby brother.' And you stared at him with your big blue eyes and she smiled sadly, and gently broke the news she was keeping him."

"We understood." Louis continued, "She'd carried this little boy with her for nine months, of course she got attached, and then looking at him he was so gorgeous I wouldn't have wanted to give him up either. There was a lot of crying at first, me and your father we mourned the loss of the child we'd never even held before. It was heartbreaking thinking for nine months that you were going to have a baby only to have those dreams shattered. We talked about trying again, but we were so afraid it would happen again, that we'd lose another child, that we didn't. We couldn't handle it happening again. We were happy with just you, and trust me, as soon as you started walking you were such a handful you were the equivalent of two children anyway."

Niall cuddled his dad closer, the story made him feel sad, he couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose a child. "Well he's only fifteen." Niall whispered, "He's still got plenty of growing and learning to do."