By Your Leave

I waited impatiently for the bald guy in the comical yellow and black suit to make up his mind.

Jeez how long does it take to make an order?

His hand hovered over Alfredo Pasta and then moved down to Bagna Caoda. By now I had memorized the whole menu and could recite it in my sleep. I kept tapping my pen against the small book in my hand but he did not seem to take the hint.

"Sir, in my personal opinion I think the pasta is loads better than the Bagna Caoda" I said as politely as I could.

"Well I did not ask for your opinion, did I?" he pompously spluttered seeming shocked that I had actually the guts to talk to him. I subtly wiped his saliva of my face.

I was barely controlling my anger so I took a deep breath and then let it out slowly as I learned to do in my anger-management classes.

That's right –anger management classes. Beware old man with the-bigger-than-Santa Claus-paunch.

"Would you stop breathing in my face? Gah! Waitresses these days don't know their place. I mean an important man like myself…." He ranted on and I clenched the pen tightly in my hand till my knuckles turned white with the strain.

Bella don't do anything rash, this pig's not worth it.

I loosened my hold on the pen and waited till he finished his speech.

"So have you decided…sir?" I said while mentally adding the words I unfortunately couldn't say to his face. I wanted to keep this job, you see.

"Of course not! Would you wait a bit! You cannot rush a man like me and it is your job to wait….Hence the name waitress". He said, speaking like I was mentally challenged.

That was the last straw.

I slammed the book down as hard as I could and ignored the sudden stillness that swept through the restaurant. Through my periphery vision I could see one of the waiters hurry towards the office. Presumably to call the manager before it was too late.

Too late to save the man sitting in the ridiculous black and yellow suit.

"Look here, old man. I have no time to waste for jackasses like you. Either make up your mind or get the hell outta here" I said in a calm and icy voice.

When I'm angry, I yell… when I'm really angry, my voice gets real quiet. And that, let me tell you, is bad.

I sighed when the guy just stared open-mouthed at me. This was gonna be my last day at La Pasana.

There goes my fourth job. I'm really gonna miss the free food.

"How dare you..." he stuttered after recovering from shock. I'm sure that no one had ever spoken to him that way before.

There was always a first.

"I don't need a….lowly waitress telling me what to do!"

Ah well, this was my last day after all. Might as well have some fun.

I backed away from the bald guy and he relaxed thinking he had scared me of.

Boy, was he wrong

I strolled casually towards the cooking area and as soon as I left the chatter began again. Louder this time I noted subconsciously.

I went over to Tyler, the chef, who was muttering under his breath which was normal. He probably didn't hear all the commotion outside. As I went closer, I noticed that he hadn't worn his hearing aid. Figures.

"Hey Tyler, can I get a bowl of Alfredo Pasta and Bagna Caoda?" I said speaking a little loudly.

He looked up and a smile broke out on his face.

"Sure, I have just finished it" He handed over the pasta and caoda, both which were steaming hot.

"Thank you" I was about to leave when I remembered something "Oh by the way I enjoyed working with you Tyler"

With two bowls in either of my hands I left the kitchen with a puzzled looking Tyler in my gait.

I sauntered over to the table of 'the bald guy'. His back was facing me and he was shouting at the manager. I couldn't make out what they were saying so I moved closer. This could be interesting.

"….I mean what kind of service do you offer these days. Really I am most disgusted. This being a five star hotel and all, I can't believe I was actually going to bring my clients over for an imp..." I decided to intervene before the saliva on my sure to be ex manager's face starts dripping to the floor.

Again, I'm not exaggerating.

I tapped him on the shoulder and he whirled around angrily "What!" he froze when he saw me.

"Here's your meal sir" I grinned sardonically and dumped the bowl of hot, steaming pasta on his bald head. Ouch, that would hurt.

"That was for insulting women and this..." I brought down the caoda on his head, yet again "is for calling me lowly". You could have heard a pin drop in the restaurant and if looks could kill I would be six feet under. The murderers would be none other than Mr. Bald Guy and my [now definite] Ex Manager.

"By your leave sir" I said in my most professional tone and grabbed my coat and walked out of the restaurant. As I turned into the side walk I could see the eyes of everyone in the restaurant following me through the glass wall. I kind of felt sorry for my ex boss but he was in fact no better than baldie.

But whatever, that felt freakin awesome and I burst out into giggles thinking of the looks on their faces. People sped past me on the sidewalk thinking I was crazy for laughing for no apparent reason.

I sobered immediately when I thought of what it all meant. Getting fired from four jobs in two consecutive weeks was a record, even for me. I dragged my feet glumly across the pavement.

At least it was a good story to tell, I thought wryly, a smile crossing my face.