it's like a part of my heart ripped out of my chest when you left, but instead of getting better and healing with time, it just keeps being ripped open and it bleeds until it clots for a little while, but when the stitches are resown, they are ripped right back open and i'm left with nothing but a bloody, broken heart.
as you continue to cause this cycle, the blood rushes to my head and all i can think about is you. missing you. holding you. my heart swells and shoves against my ribs until one breaks. my lungs flood with blood until eventually i'm drowning in my own self tsunami caused by you. it's easy for you to go on because you think everything can only go up for you. nothing ever goes up for me, but i guess you won't ever understand that my dearest darling, but that's okay, we all have to die a few times to really feel anything anymore. i used to love the image of you, but not anymore. it just rips at my wounds until my body gives out and my breath is gone and my blood has finished flooding my organs. you caused happiness and light in me once, and sometimes you still do, but not enough happiness for me to forget what the sad reality of it is: you're gone and you are never coming back. never will. but guess who will be bleeding internally beside you always?
song to go along with this piece:
thousand miles by tove lo
