Faded Memories

Memories

"Come on Sehun," Jongin said, tugging on the other 5-year-old's sleeve. "Omma's already here."

"But I left Mr. Bubbles inside!" Sehun argued. He pulled away from Jongin and ran to the kindergarten class. Jongin gave his mother's car another glance before chasing after his friend. Sehun was standing in front of the door with a scared look on his face.

"What?" Jongin asked.

"Ms. Lee is scary," Sehun whispered.

"I'll get him for you. Go back to the car," Jongin said. Sehun gave him a smile and obliged. Jongin pushed open the door to the class and stepped inside. "Ms. Lee, Sehunnie left Mr. Bubbles in here. Did you see it?" he asked. Ms. Lee looked up and found Jongin standing in front of the door playing with the hem of his shirt.

"It's over there," she said, pointing to the toy box in the corner. Jongin's eyes followed her finger and found the bunny sitting on top of a wooden block.

Jongin gave her a thankful smile and grabbed it, running outside while calling, "Thank you!" over his shoulder. Jongin loved the look on Sehun's face when he gave Mr. Bubbles back.

"Sehun."

"What?"

"Did you see her yet?" Jongin asked in a hushed voice.

"See who?" Sehun replied, his eyes scanning over the textbook and not paying any attention to Jongin beside him.

"The new student, Shin Jinhee. She's so pretty."

Sehun looked up and found Jongin staring across the cafeteria at a girl. He felt a slight tugging in his heart when he saw Jongin's expression. He frowned. "I'm prettier," he mumbled.

Jongin let out a laugh. "Yes, you are Sehunnie. Even though she's pretty, you're prettier."

It might have been sarcasm, but Sehun turned a bright shade of pink and buried his face in his textbook, with a broad smile on his face.

"My omma bought me a new camera!" Sehun smiled as the door opened to reveal Jongin in his pajamas and his hair messed up.

"Why are you so happy? It's just a camera," Jongin mumbled, opening the door wider and letting Sehun in. "You woke me up from my sleep," he continued while rubbing his eyes.

"Jongin! It's not 'just a camera.' It's the camera," Sehun explained, following Jongin to his room upstairs. He sat down on the carpeted floor and watched Jongin lay back down on the bed and cover his body with the quilt.

"Take a picture with me," Sehun said.

Jongin's closed eyes slowly opened and he looked at Sehun in disbelief. "Why? It's not like I'm going anywhere. You see me everyday, why do you have to take a picture?"

Sehun frowned. "Come on. Just one."

"Later," Jongin muttered, waving Sehun away his his hand and turning around so that his back faced the other.

"Jongin, please?" Sehun whined. There was no reply. "Jongin?" Sehun crawled over to the bed and poked Jongin's exposed lower back. "Please?" Jongin's head whipped around and he pulled down his shirt.

"If I take one, can you let me sleep?"

Sehun leaned back on his feet and licked his dry lips. "Sure." He picked up the camera and snapped a picture of Jongin.

"Hey!"

"Smile, Jongin. You look like you want to kill someone," his mother scolded.

"I do," Jongin muttered elbowing Sehun in the side.

"Hey!"

"Shut it Sehunnie."

"Jongin!" Jongin glared at Sehun again and then looked at the camera in his mother's hands.

"Alright...1...2...3!" The camera flashed and Sehun blinked. After the world came back into focus, he checked the picture. His eyes were closed and Jongin was glaring daggers at camera. "Let's take it again. Kim Jongin don't you give me that look." Sehun deleted the picture from the camera and then went back to leaning against the wall next to Jongin. He was half-a-head taller than Jongin and Jongin glanced up at his friend.

"Since when did you get so tall?"

Sehun shrugged. "I thought you got shorter."

"What are you planning to do this summer?" Sehun asked.

Jongin shrugged. "Omma said something about visiting my grandmother." He slung an arm around Sehun's shoulders, but then pulled away when it became too uncomfortable. "I guess you're spending summer alone again."

Sehun made a face. "Can't you stay here? You can sleep over at my house."

"I guess. I'll ask."

Sehun smiled as he slung an arm around Jongin's shoulders. "You're the perfect height to do this," he said.

"Don't push it Sehunnie."

"Where are you going?"

"We're moving," Jongin replied softly.

"What?" Sehun's bare feet were getting cold on the wet driveway. "B-But-"

"I didn't want to tell you." Sehun's hair was getting wet from the rain and his white t-shirt was sticking to his skin. He looked at Jongin through the rain and found Jongin holding a red umbrella. "I'm really sorry." Jongin stepped forward and hugged Sehun, the umbrella dropping to the ground. "I'm really sorry. I won't forget you. You'll always be my best friend." He continued in a choked voice and said something that sounded like, "I love you Sehunnie," but Sehun couldn't make it out. The rain was too loud.

Those were the last words before Jongin disappeared into the moving truck. Sehun never got to say, "I love you."

"I can't go."

"Sehun you have to. He's your best friend."

"I can't go. It'll hurt too much."

His mother sighed. "Sehun, they want you to come. They want you to say things about him."

"No."

"Think about Jongin. This is the last favor that you can do for him. Don't you want to see him?"

Sehun blinked back tears. "I do, but I can't."

"Why not?" Sehun felt his mother's warm hand on his shoulder.

"Because then I'll start crying. He doesn't like it when I cry."

"Kim Jongin was my best friend. He was my other half. He was there for me from the beginning of every day until the end. He was the one who beat up the other kids who made fun of me, he was the one who switched lunches with me because I didn't like mine, he was the one who told me that everything was going to be alright whenever I woke up from a bad dream. At times, it seemed like Jongin was the only one that cared. And after years and years of laughter, tears, arguments, and hugs, I finally mustered up the courage to tell him my darkest secret. That day, he told me something too. He said he was moving. I felt like half of my heart was ripped from my chest. He left that day and I never got to tell him. Now here I am, speaking at his funeral. I feel like my heart is completely gone. There's nothing else in here anymore because Jongin took it all with him. But I guess I still have enough of a heart to tell him this. I love you Kim Jongin."

Sehun kneeled on the muddy ground and traced his fingers over the engraving of Jongin's name. "I love you. Did you hear me say it? I love you." He felt tears streaming down his face. "I hid it all these years because I thought you would leave me. But even without saying anything, you still left me." Sehun wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "The memories of you are still fresh in my mind. The pain of you leaving me is still there. But I guess they're all faded memories for you..."