Peering out the car window, I see an older man and what looks like his 5 year old daughter playing around by an old worn down gas station in an even older more decrepit town. Then it hits me. The nostalgia comes crashing down on me like gravity causes a ball to hit the ground. How perfectly flawed everything is.
When I was the girl's age, I was so carefree, happy, nothing was wrong. No stress from school, or family, or friends or anything that comes with age. I looked forward to getting my next soda or bowl of ice cream. Gum was the most amazing thing ever.
Now there's just so much stress. Too much to worry about. Too much to stress over. Too much stuff going on to just be able to go outside, run around playing with sticks. It's funny how it all changes. At first you might not even notice that your life is changing, but in an instant like this, you realize how different things are from how they used to be.
Yes, I am happy now. This isn't me being depressed. I'm probably happier now than ever, but I still miss the carelessness. I miss going to sleep at night not worried about if I read enough or if I'm gonna pass a test. I miss going to sleep bc I'm tired. Not because I have to wake up at 5 in the morning.
As children we all can't wait to get older, but when it actually happens, I get why adults want to be young again. Why they say to enjoy it while it lasts. Growing up has it's advantages, it's freedoms, but there's so much stress that comes with it.
Things might seem bad a lot. Things may get stressful and you might be dealing with the most stressful time of your life, but don't worry, there's still hope. Bad things happen. Some things just purely bad. Some things bad for the better.
In a way, everything is flawed. Every person has their flaws. Anybody that tries to deny that needs to take a look at them selves. The flaws are what make things perfect. The flaws are what have gotten humanity through millions of years. Even death can be perfect. Every year the leaves die, and it's beautiful.
Enjoy things while you can. Especially new things. It doesn't happen often that somebody can go without the sameness of life. The loss. The hurt. The stress. The worry. The joy. The happiness. Everybody gets bored. Everybody has issues. All of that makes them though. All of the flaws make our perfection.
Pictures are an easy way to remember this. Sometimes you'll look at a faded old photograph and remember how great or terrible the time was. Then you remember how things were then, and how they are now. You sit racing thought your mind all the differences and memories. These memories. These photographs. These are what make us. They give us emotions. They give us reasons to care, or not to care. They give us reasons to hate the past, to miss the past.
I personally see too much hate in the world. I find it hard to see good. Lately that's changed, because I've gotten happier. Found my calling. I see all of the flaws. Crime. Corruption. Money. Disease. Famine. Catastrophe. Personally, I even think religion. Though honestly, without these flaws, the world wouldn't be what it is. There would still be unhappiness. Still be desire and greed. The world may be terribly flawed in so many ways, but that's what makes it perfect. Our flaws are what make us perfect. Maybe not in some people's eyes. Maybe not it our eyes, but somebody thinks we're perfectly flawed. We wear disguises of self reflection. We all do and see what we think we are. We try to be perfect, when we shouldn't. We should just try to be happy. Whether that be by ourselves or with someone else.
Lots of people try to take the easy way out of all the stress. To be honest, I can't blame them, because at times, it does seem like the easiest way out. I always find it best to cling to the hope of things getting better. You don't get a chance to try this life again.
All in all, this is just to say, enjoy our perfectly flawed world while you still can. Enjoy the perfectly flawed people. Find the perfectly flawed person you love. The one that loves you back. There is no happiness in the world than not seeing all the bad. Feeling cared about and loved.
