toxic-waste

1:

If only you could see me now.
How you said you've changed.
So did I, I decided to change for me.

You'll regret every moment you 've
spent with me.
For the heart break you gave me. ( did some other shit but that's for later.)
I wanna see you be eaten alive by the guilt.

I wanna hear you tell me
"I miss you."

I know you do.
I remember you told me
"You're different from any other girl I've met"
Joking around like the friends we are now.
I remember you joked with me saying
"You're ugly."

I was use to your shit, so It didn't bother me.
I gave you a serious face.

"No, you're pretty"

That one day, we sat beside each other as usual.

We was talking, then we stop and started staring into each others face.

Observing facial structure, your pink luscious lemonade lips, looked kissable.
Your hazel nut eyes... that turned different shades, when your emotions changed.
Your dark brown hair, that I ran my hands through so many times. These was the things I loved about you.

I cough * Are you staring at me?*
Knowing that I was doing the same.
"No,I was staring at the window."
You responded.

Or the day we played games with each other
You told me to put my hands in yours. While we played something 2 player on your phone.
Your hand was soft like a babies butt. It was toned, and warm. Compare to mine in your hand.

Mine was so small, my nails long.Which you hated, cause I would cut you sometimes. My hands are usually cold. But my hand fitted perfectly.

I was so shocked...

Amazes me how you and I would say
"I met my match".

We was so alike

A girl whose 5'6
Born in September.
Sophomore (currently)

Born 10 days apart and 5 years from each other

A guy whose 5'7
Born In September.
Senior(currently)

I met you when you was a sophomore. (I tell that story later.) I was a freshman.

I remember another time, I was walking down the hall, I don't know what happen. Anyways
I was walking to class along with a bunch of other people. I bumped into someone, it was you. We bumped into each other, I didn't know until I "watch where you're - ray? Sorry" you
Gave me a puzzle look and I hurried to class.

Another time is when we was in the auditorium,we was smack camming people. Then we was having a smackcam, fight with each other. We recorded the videos, (which I still have.) But I remember you kept smacking me with my beanie. So I got my cousin to give me some of his lotion. You was playing a game. I came up behind you and all you heard was a loud *smack*. Your face was smothered with lotion. As I sit there and laugh. You look at me and gave me a smirk.
You took my beanie rub every last bit of lotion off your face with it. Then you pull me down on your lap.

Then you start hitting me with my own beanie.
"Please stop, OK, I'm sorry, sorry, no"
"When I'm finished with you, you're gonna be my bitch(or hoe something like that I don't remember what he said to well with that one.
Then he stop and I sat there on his lap for a few minutes. I felt something warm on my ass. I knew what it was. I hurried and hop off and said "be right back gotta talk to Brittany".

"I knew you like it, you two should just go out already. "

Plenty of people told us this.

"It was warm though it did feel good"
"See you did-"
"Just shut up I know"

Next day

Same place you're sitting somewhere else

"Why don't we call Raymond up here so he can rub your stomach (period)."

"Please no"

"He looks 15? 15"

Me and Anna( you'll meet her later)
Looks at her, and say at the same time
"He's 19"

"What, he's 19 are you serious"
"He doesn't look like it, I didn't notice but I still, I think he's 15"

"19"
"He treats you better than any guy I've seen you with."

"I know, *laughs* he does"

Then she starts describing, dirty things.
Then he gets up to to use the bathroom.
She calls him... he doesn't hear her.
"I wanted him to rub your stomach"
"No."

(My point of veiw)basically talking to myself

"He walks you, shares food with you and only you(even though he doesn't like sharing. )
Borrows your stuff, play fight, tickles you, sits beside you or near you, you two argue like you're married, talk almost everyday, you guys are like magnets. You guys are alike, like the girl version of him except you don't smoke weed or cigarettes. That's the only bad thing also you guys respond dominant to each other but when you and him are arguing over something you give in cause he be getting on your nerves..or when he wants something you say "no" he begs you and gives you a look like please, you still say no and he starts poking or tickling you and you give in. Oh he gets jealous quick with you to. Then when you're sad , mad or in one of your moods cause of something, he's there for you. Shit you tell him stuff that I don't even know myself? When he's piss off about something, you get piss too and you're the only one who can calm him down really. He protects you. You stand up for him when he gets picked on, just cause he's older and in the slow class. I've been through so much with him, this is why I'm still not over what happened. "

(Btw he has told me he has quit smoking and has been changing, I'm proud of him for that even though he knew I didn't like it.

We don't live near each other anymore he has move to Florida and lives there. We skype, and talk every once in a while. Sense I'm still bitter with him.)

But I thank you guys for reading this,
Chapter 2 maybe up later or tmr. Love you guys!